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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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Can I be forced to sell our joint;y owned home?

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08 Apr 12 #322416 by Miss J
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I own a house with my ex partner of 17 years (we were not married). The house is mortgage free. He has moved out and is renting with his new girlfriend. The property market is in dire straits in Ireland at the moment and it would be the worst time to try and sell. He has agreed to let me rent it out until the market picks up. I have put all of my money from a previous house sale into the property and am really worried that I might be forced to sell if his circumstances change. We own the property as joint tenants, so have to give him half and therefore if forced to sell in this climate will lose out big time.
Buying him out is not an option at the moment. I''m getting lots of advice from different people here in Ireland, but I am worried that some of them have ulterior motives and would be hoping that we will sell the house very cheap to friends of theirs! I am worried about talking to a solicitor, because I dont want to start the ball rolling on a date for sale being set!

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08 Apr 12 #322419 by soulruler
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Where do you propose to live if you rent the house out are you proposing to rent yourself?

If that is the case then in your situation I would stay put in the mortgage free house for now. If you leave you will be in a worse position.

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08 Apr 12 #322424 by Miss J
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Unfortunately, I had committed to renting the house out before he left, it was supposed to help out our financial situation! I have rented a small cottage for myself and have rented out the jointly house as a holiday home for summertime. I will move back there in the winter when the holiday season finishes. The rental income is very good but, of course my ex partner wants his half.

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08 Apr 12 #322425 by soulruler
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Go softly with all of this as you both need somewhere to live and in an ideal world (which we do not live in) then it would be great if you could sell the house at a price you both think reasonable and both move on with your lives.

The chances are if you give him any indication that you are going to move back in after summer and maybe not be in a position to get a buyer and move out that he will beat you to it and move in with his girlfiend and you will be out of the house and out of the entire equity.

I know that this might sound rather devious and I suppose that it is but if he is the one who has moved on and got himself a new partner and was happy enough to rent that is his decision.

I maybe somewhat cynical but I doubt very much that the housing market will pick up for a very, very long time.

There is massive world debt and I do appreciate that Ireland is currently one of the countries the hardest hit.

Debt however is going the same way for every country even the ones who are the powerhouses of the world economy - the ones with the industry are the ones holding all the credit from the countries that cannot pay back.

You can''t squeeze blood out of a stone and if there are no buyers out there then how are you supposed to be able to sell?

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08 Apr 12 #322426 by Miss J
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I know the market could take years to recover. I''m in an awful situation to be honest.I had moved from England having sold my house and everything I owned to be with this man. Even if we did get a buyer, I am then going to be converting my share back into pounds. I can''t even get a job here at the moment (hence not being able to buy him out). At least with the rental income, I have some money to live on.

I do worry that he could move his girlfriend in, for that reason, I am staying put in Ireland.

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08 Apr 12 #322428 by Miss J
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soulruler wrote:

Go softly with all of this as you both need somewhere to live and in an ideal world (which we do not live in) then it would be great if you could sell the house at a price you both think reasonable and both move on with your lives.

The chances are if you give him any indication that you are going to move back in after summer and maybe not be in a position to get a buyer and move out that he will beat you to it and move in with his girlfiend and you will be out of the house and out of the entire equity.

I know that this might sound rather devious and I suppose that it is but if he is the one who has moved on and got himself a new partner and was happy enough to rent that is his decision.

I maybe somewhat cynical but I doubt very much that the housing market will pick up for a very, very long time.

There is massive world debt and I do appreciate that Ireland is currently one of the countries the hardest hit.

Debt however is going the same way for every country even the ones who are the powerhouses of the world economy - the ones with the industry are the ones holding all the credit from the countries that cannot pay back.

You can''t squeeze blood out of a stone and if there are no buyers out there then how are you supposed to be able to sell?


There are bargain hunters only out there and I stand to lose a fortune (I was mortgage free in the UK and used the money to build this house with him). I am really worried that if he gets even nastier than he has been (the infidelity thing) and we end up dealing with solicitors, will they just set a date that it has to be sold by and will I just have to accept a low offer. I wouldnt put it past one of his family/friends to be just waiting in the wings to pick up a bargain if that is the case.

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10 Apr 12 #322687 by soulruler
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One thing that you need to think about very carefully is whether it is worth a lifetime of hassle and regret attempting to get back the financial imput into the property.

I totally understand your reluctance to get solicitors involved in your case from a personal perspective solicitors have wrecked my life (my husbands) and I think in the long run my husband is going to bitterly regret letting his solicitors run amuck in UK courts constantly misadvising him to take litigation after litigation out against me.

Only you will know where you want to spend the rest of your life but if it is not in Ireland and you would rather return to the UK to be with friends and family then in your position I would be thinking very carefully about how you can acheive this (and also how you can negotiate this with your husband).

Think about what you want in terms of a percentage out of any potential sale and in your circumstance I would accept that the house is going to be bargin hunted - I do know that there is a lot of spare housing in Ireland.

You will need a solicitor to get involved in the conveyencing if the house is sold and the solicitor will hold any proceeds of sale and be obliged to split them in accordance with any agreement that you and your husband can work out (assuming that you can and can just get a Consent Order stamped by a court).

Better to come out with half of what you thought you might than find yourself stuck somewhere for more or less for ever, be totally miserable, find things get more hostile and contentious by the day.

Relationships end, people have affairs or move away for so many reasons. I expect that to a large extent you already feel very betrayed in having moved over there, put your life and soul and your money into this and then find it hasn''t worked out.

Agree a sensible split (maybe weighted in his favour a bit) realise that you are going to be lucky to sell (so keep your fingers crossed) and try and move away from the life experience you have had.

That is what I would be doing if I were in your circumstance right now. Personally I would feel it a life sentence to be living in a foreign country with no job and no old friends and family network - but then that is just me.

The only financial compensation you are going to get out of "false" imprisonment is the financial compensation that you can agree with your spouse. The emotional compensation that you can possibly receive is up to you.

Money cannot buy happiness and at least in your circumstance you are not going to end up in debt as a result of all of this - unlike so many people on here (including me) that are going through divorce.

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