I am divorced, still in FMH.The house is worth £190,000 equity £50,000.I am on a low salary, as a carer, cleaner, lunchtime assistant in school working around my youngest (x is controlling him by buying him everything he wants. He even cancelled the child benefit last year without me knowing,but i,m still main carer as he works a lot.)X is on over £55,000 a year and has not helped out financially at all. On the E form his pension is £292,700,00. He is wanting my youngest to say that he wants to live with him, so he has in the eyes of the court a dependant child (financial gain)The other two boys 16 and 19 rarely see him.What do you think would be a fair settlment.Thanks:unsure:
He is taking away everything child benefit, now i can,t get tax credits. It was a 20 year marriage were i worked round him and boys therefore low income. Surely i won,t be made homeless. That is what he wants.I can,t pay the mortgage at this present time.
Gailuk, to answer your question about a fair settlement we need more information please.
Length of marriage plus any cohab.
Incomes ... Inc any benefits, tax credits etc.
Children - ages and arrangements.
Value of fmh
Loans, debts etc.
I assume if you are on low income, you are claiming tax credits? If the children live with you then you should get the child benefit. Have you had it reinstated?
Hi Married 20 years, Boys 19,16,10.X is buying my youngest everything he wants.x on over £55,000 a year. I,m on £5,000 a year.I work around x,s work and youngest child being at school.Youngest is being brainwashed by x with gifts and promises.i have no pension, x has cetv of £292,700,00.We owe £50,000 on house valued at £190,000.No other loans. He has built up debts on credit cards since he left.
If the boys are living mainly with you then you need to make sure the child benefits are in your name. You mentioned that ex had removed them ... you need to get on to the child benefit website and sort that out asap. www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit/start/claiming/index.htm
Next step is to sort out your tax credits as a single parent. www.hmrc.gov.uk/TAXCREDITS/
You need to do this fast as they will only backdate claim for 93 days.
If he is paying nothing for the children, you should get the CSA involved. Assuming they live mainly with you then you are looking at 20% of his net income (circa 600 a month) (less perhaps some for any nights spent with him) If the 19 year old is still in full time education, he would also be covered by this (+ CTC and CB). Look at www.cmoptions.org/en/options/child-support-agency.asp to find out about how CM works.
NB CM payments do not affect your entitlement to CB or tax credits.
You may want to go to see the CAB for help in getting all this sorted.
Next thing is to get your financial settlement organised. After a 20 year marriage, the presumed start point is 50:50 split ... but given your low income, your housing need (for you and children) and his relative wealth, you are likely to get a bigger share of the equity ... and could even retain use of all of it at least until the youngest is 18.
Depending on how much your income is upgraded by the benefits etc described above, you may be in a position to receive spousal maintenance. It may even be that some form of maintenance pending suit (while the finances are sorted out) is in order. His net salary is going to be over £3k a month (less some 600 f0r CM).
If it is affordable, you could stay in the same house ... at least until youngest is 18.
You may be able/want to trade off your entitlement to a share in his pension for a bigger share of the property equity. The key here will be making sure there is enough equity for you to be able to downsize and use the proceeds as a pension pot when the time comes.
You can agree all this between you .. and get a Consent Order but he does not sound like someone who would negotiate. I think you need some good legal advice. Have you checked whether you qualify for legal aid?
At the very least you need to go and have a free half hour with a solicitor to explore your options.