A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Could i move back in ( as a last resort ) ??

  • elmerfud
  • elmerfud's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323175 by elmerfud
Topic started by elmerfud
Hi,I,ve been married for 23 years but seperated for the last 3 and a half years, not started divorce proceddings yet. Since leaving the family home ive been paying half the mortgage and life insurance and renting a house for 3 years. I have a son aged 20 who works full time and a daughter aged 22 who is abroad on a gap year. The ex wife finally agreed to put the house up for sale 18 month ago in which time we have had no offers, wife insists on it been priced more than the estate agents recommmended,we agreed at the time that she would recieve 10k more of the equity than me and all contents. Equity would be approx 130k between us. As it does not look like the house is going to sell any time soon in the present market and ex is not helping i offered to buy her out. I based the offer on the basis of above details but she has now said she is entitled to 60/40 split, is this true ? I could not afford a mortgage for that amount. I think she will drag this on for as long as possible and i can not afford to waste money on rent any more i just want a place of my own to call home. Could i move back into family home until sale, it is a 3 bed detached so there is 2 spare rooms as the son lives with his girlfriend. I,ve tried to keep solicitors out of this but it seems she wants to go down this road. I think we will both lose money but she says that she will get legal aid even though she works full time so is not bothered about costs. Is this true? Also am i right in believing that any legal aid would have to be repaid out of any money she gets from house sale? My wage is £1850 per month take home and wifes is £1000. I,m so confused and fustrated so any advice would be a great help. Thanks :)

  • happyagain
  • happyagain's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323180 by happyagain
Reply from happyagain
The equity split depends on lots of info. For a start, it will consider your current and potential earnings, your ages, pensions and debts. There is no right or wrong, that one party has to get a set percentage of the assets or not. Usually the main factor that decides a larger share of assets is dependent children, but that doesn''t seem to be the case here. The main considerations should be your earning capacities. If you can post all the above info then you''ll get clearer advice.
As for moving back in ..... Yes you could in theory. However your wife may cite the fact that you have been absent so long as a reason for you not to return. It could get nasty. However you are still paying half the mortgage so this puts you n a stronger position, if there is resistance to you returning then you could stop paying your half on the grounds of your wife''s sole occupancy of the property.

  • elmerfud
  • elmerfud's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323194 by elmerfud
Reply from elmerfud
Hi Happyagain, thanks for your quick advice. Here is a bit more info. I,m aged 47 and wife is 41. I have a works pension of 23 years and wife has small pension, dont know how much they are worth but realise they will be put into 1 pot and split, i,m happy to do this. We have no other debts other than mortgage. We both had a Isa with £6000 in when we split and an endowment which again we split 50/50. We both ended up with approx £12k. My half of mortgage is £145 per month, my rent is £450 plus bills. My take home pay is £1850 wifes is £1000 plus any overtime which she does. I know moving back in is not really the thing to do i thought if i mentioned it to the ex it might move things on a bit because i think its gone on long enough.If i stopped mortgage payment this may effect my chance of getting a one of my own later ? Is legal aid repayable ? Cheers :)

  • cookie2
  • cookie2's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323212 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
Do you have a Consent Order or court order? If not then getting one would be your first priority.

After 3 years absence you will most likely not be able to move back. It is still your house but it is not your home. Your ex has a right to her privacy which after such a long time, will trump your right to live there or even to enter the property.

  • soulruler
  • soulruler's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323216 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
Well you need some resolution and in your circumstance it would appear that you are going to have to go to court.

I think she would find it difficult to get legal aid and I also think that you could self rep.

You have, in my view, a sensible idea re buying your wife out - I think that you need to get three independent valuers and get her to pick one and then you both pay half the costs.

You have already split some of the marital assets and hopefully the courts will take that into account. The children are both off your hands and are not dependents and if you can buy her out with a 50/50 split it will make things possible for both of you - she will then have the option of whether she wants to buy or rent.

You have been responsible regarding paying your half of the debt but carry on and it is only being a benefit to her and not you also.

In family proceedings generally each party is responsible for their own legal costs unless there is misconduct during the divorce.

I think that you have little option but to take this to court. You need a copy of your mortgage eligability and to produce this to court.

You can''t get blood out of a stone so it is pointless your wife saying she wants 60/40 when the house is not selling (overpriced and market conditions). I would also offer her part of your pension.

Hopefully in this way you will be able to get out of this.

The money that you have already split is to a large extent history (and may already have been spent). I think it worth mentioning however in a statement of issues if you take this to court.

  • soulruler
  • soulruler's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323220 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
There is something else you could offer which is that she stays in the house, indemnifies you against the mortgage, you keep all your pension and both of you get on with your lives.

It might be that the mortgage company comes after you at the end of the term of the mortgage but if you have no capital assets there will be nothing for them to attach the joint debt against.

Offer that and she might then think that your first option to buy her out is the most sensible one as in that way she will get lots of cash and no responsibilites - that I believe will get you want you both need - urgent resolution to all of this.

I would also tell her that you are not prepared indefinitely to keep on paying half the mortgage debt when you have already split the endowment and other assets and you have no rights of occupation and probably in any case do not want to move back.

Crack on.

  • elmerfud
  • elmerfud's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
12 Apr 12 #323221 by elmerfud
Reply from elmerfud
Hi,although we been seperated so long we have not done anything legal wise, think i should now.I wanted to sell the house first then think about divorce but it looks like that was a mistake. Every thing was amicable until i,ve tried to move the house sale on :(, i am just fustrated now after renting for 3 years and can see no end to it. Offered to buy her out , she would have money to buy another house with small mortgage and i would move back into family home until it sold and would not waste even more money on rent , but now she is askin for bigger share of equity. If she is legally entitled to it fair enough i will try to raise extra funds but i need to try and find out if it is true or not.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11