Charge vs Current Asset

Still playing around with figures and my solicitor is hesitant to push for more from the house.

I know that the extra 30K I am asking for will NOT affect my STBX monthly income as she will still be clearing 3K after the mortgage is paid.

The extra 30K WILL affect me though as without it I can not buy and pay of the marital debt plus my current liabilities

My solicitor is hesitant but I am happy to give up my charge on the remaining 185K- as I want the capital now, not in 12 years time, at which point I will not be able to get a mortgage. Plus, I dont want any financial ties to her other than the children.

Opinions?

She will probably try and negotiate you downwards. If you go in with your lowest firgure, you then lose out. Ask for more, she can only say no.
PS - I work full-time, 40+ hours per week in a graduate career, and I don''t even clear 3K per month even before the mortgage is paid! Your ex is in a fortunate position!

She wants to screw me over. This has nothing to do with needs, and she would love nothing more than for me NOT to be able to buy a house. She told me this at the beginning. I thought she would soften, but she hasnt.

Greed and bitterness.

To be honest, you sound like the bitter one.

Of course I am angry. Who wouldnt be? I worked hard all my life and have nothing to show for it.

I can only hope for a fair outcome. Once that judgement is given im moving on, and not focusing on it.

And she gave birth to your joint children and worked part time and you must have sanctioned that.

Just because you no longer want to be with her, you shouldnt expect so much and I am really trying to reason with you.

Children cost money, end of, full stop. child maintenance that you are paying will go on stuff the kids need and that includes ferrying them here there are everywhere.

Remember someone must be washing, cooking, ironing helping with homework etc. That person is your wife!

Yes she probably could work more hours and she probably will, but she is probably feeling who the hell do you think you are telling her what to do. And any person would think the same.

As a family, the income coming into the house was enormous, much more than most families.

Looking after a household of 4 and all that involves is bloody hard work and expecting her to work full time as well I would say impossible when she is not used to it.

The two older children will have exams shortly, they need their parent to be refreshed when they need to speak to her, not knackered because she is having to work long hours because you have left her.

Yes, the CM you pay is high, but it will decrease with each child, unless your wife gets somethig put into the Consent Order for it to continue whilst they are at university. I wish I had done that, because afterall kids need a base in holidays etc.

Now, stop being bitter towards her and concentrate on your children and their needs and the future.

She only started working part-time this year.

I really dont think asking her to work 16 hours is asking too much. Every woman I work with has children and they do far more than 40hrs a week. 16hrs still gives her her benefits and allows her to go back to school

yes the kids need to study but why shouldnt they clean up after themselves, help do laundry, mow the lawn. They are not infants.

I also have household work to do, and unlike my STBX I cant afford a cleaning lady.

yes Kids are expensive, but you said yourself I brought in a hefty income- if most of England can raise their kids on far less, than why cant my STBX. as stated before she has MORE income then when I was home.

C100 is sent but no good that will do if I have to sponge off my girlfriend to save money to buy. I need to think of my needs too.