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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Charge vs Current Asset

  • Fiona
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24 May 12 #332581 by Fiona
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CNB was referring to the first post of the thread when you said your solicitor was hesitant to push for more from the house I believe.

I wouldn''t panic and talk through the offer with your solicitor. Reaching a settlement is rather like horse trading. You''ve both made offers and usually a settlement is haggled at the FDR or before going to a final hearing.

She wants a 70/ 30 split her way- which is fine but she wants to give me 15% now and the other 15% in 15 years time.


A Mesher is really only appropriate when there is no other way of keeping a roof over children''s heads.

She wants me to pay CM until the end of first degree( including gap year) for all children- at which time I can get my last 15% of the house


Supporting children to the end of their first degree isn''t unreasonable. Apparently about 90% of students receive some form of support from parents.

She wants my pension split- in her favour.

That might not be unreasonable if she is the same age as you or older because she will require a larger fund to pay the same income in retirement.

She wants all the marital debt to be paid by me


Debts need to taken into account as part of the overall circumstances. If the debts are in your name you have an agreement with the lender/credit card company and the court can''t change that. Repayments will effect your mortgage raising capability and disposable income and therefore your ability to pay SM.

She doesnt think the houses I submitted are unsuitable - even though they are are in the school in the catchment and buses are provided.

She wants me to take out a mortgage to pay the shortfall


The difference in your mortgage raising capabilities is relevant here.

She wants me to pay pay SM for life


Given that her job has been of secondary importance to raising the family for at least 17 years SM for joint life''s or at least until pension payments kick in probably can''t be avoided.

She refuses to see black and white- I DID NOT GET A BONUS THIS YEAR..

she refuses to accept the state of the economy and the banking industry

She wants 30% of all future ef-all bonuses


That is something she needs to take on board but if future bonuses are unlikely are they worth arguing about?

She wants 15K a year SM


If I remember correctly that is about 25% of your income which is within the realms of possibility. However, the division of equity and your wife''s income needs to be taken into account. A larger share in equity in your wife''s favour means she will either have no mortgage or a small one decreasing her need of income. On the other hand if you have less capital you will need a larger mortgage increasing your living costs and decreasing your disposable income and ability to pay SM.

She cant go back to school part time because she has 3 young (17, 13, 6) children.. yet she cant go to work full time for the same- yet she is demanding a salary that most combined incomes can only envy.


When someone has not worked or worked part time to fit around family for many years it is difficult for them to re-establsh themselves in better paid full time employment and the costs of childcare often make it not worthwhile. So potential income and the ability to save for retirement is limited. A court may consider that your wife shouldn''t be expected to work more because of the way your married life was conducted.

  • somuch2know2
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24 May 12 #332608 by somuch2know2
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Thanks Fiona- i feel a bit more at ease as its clear she wants everything but wont get it. Im just so stressed.

We are being civil to eachother at the moment so I dont want to rock the boat- but its like she offers an olive branch with one hand and a grenade with the other.

I really hope I dont get a joint lives SM. It seems rather unfair as she has 26 years to work, and granted she hasnt worked in 17, but i thought the purpose of maintenance was for a "feet finding" period- not to support, for life.

Bonus- yes, unlikely to get in future, but it irritates me that she should even try and claim something and at such a high % that has nothing to do with her ''contribution''

All I want is to be able to start over- I see this going ALL the way to FH.

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24 May 12 #332610 by somuch2know2
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Oh- and no.. her proposed CM and SM equates to 40% of my salary.

Also not opposed to helping my children in university- but at my discretion and NOT when they are skiing in Canada on a gap year-
is that so unreasonable?

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