You are in the thick of it and emotions tend to run high at this point - not the easiest of times to be negotiating. Its no comfort, but if people are used to a higher standard of living it doesn''t necessarily make it easier to accept the impact of the divorce and neither of you will see it as fair as you both are losing out - the math is simple two households dont live as cheaply as one. Is all your negotiating via proffs or do you talk together about anything?
So much, you seem to be getting a hard time here. I don''t see why! Your wife has more money for 4 than she did for5 . She works very part-time. She has a cleaning lady. And one of her children is about to leave home.
By paying csa you are providing for the children. Anything else will ultimately end up as your wife''s. I doubt she will offer them 30% of her assets when they leave home because she got extra when you split on behalf of them.
I think you''re getting a hard time because you had an affair. That is not right, you should not have to live in penury because of this.
When my husband left I was working part-time. My kids were 3 and 2 months (and very ill) . I went out and got a full-time job to increase my income and provide for my children.
One source of friction in my husbands first marriage is that his wife refused to work more than a few hours per week. This was not ''sanctioned''. Ultimately her refusal to recognise the financial side of things was one reason they broke up.
If you read his original posts he will say that one of the reasons he wanted to leave the marriage was because of his wifes lack of understanding of how much of a burden he was finding trying to financially support the family in the lifestyle his wife insisted on.
Why should somuch have to continue working 15hr days when his wife is only prepared to work 12hrs.
Somuch isnt expecting his wife to work full time, just during school hours which she could as its my understanding she works in a school.
Both parents are responsible for the children and that should include being financially responsible.