• Ages H 50 W 45
• Length of marriage – 20 years this month
• Children – son, age 19, twin daughtres age 17.
Say they want to live with me
• Incomes – 59k and 45k
• Value of the FMH - 375k
• Outstanding mortgage on FMH 150k
• Pensions (CETV – Cash Equivalent Transfer Value) or projected pension benefits (ie lump sum and annual pension). Mine 120k, awaiting his (teacher, now deputy head for 23 years)
• Value of any other assets in sole or joint names – this may be endowment policies, savings, investments etc or assets such as paintings, cars, jewellery (over £500)NONE
• Outstanding debts in sole or joint names and when accrued. 23k on credit cards over 10 years, 10k bank loan
One key here may be the size of mortgage you can obtain. Have you investigated this? What is the cost of a reasonable 3 bed house where you live?
Also is your son at uni ... and are your daughters planning to go? This will have at least a short term impact on your housing needs.
On the face of it, this does seem a case for selling the FMH, paying off debts and buying a less expensive property with a mortgage. I suspect you may have a slightly larger share of the equity as he would be able to obtain and afford a bigger mortgage.
my solicitor advises me my son is not taken into account he is currently at uni and daughter due to go sept this yr due to both being 18 or over and out of full time education and my best option is to buy ex out or sell my property
The priority is children under the age of 18 but over 18s aren''t in education aren''t irrelevant. It''s not unreasonable for a student to be provided with some sort of base even if they don''t live there full time.
It does seem a bit of a grey area, because of their ages. I think my stbx is going to say that they will spend time at his new home, but I know the girls in particluar want to live with me. Is it up to me to ask for what I want house-wise or will we have to take the view/advice of solicitors on this (he thought mediation was a ''waste of time and money'' so having to fork out now) Will they ask the kids personally what they want? I really don''t want it to go to court but I can see him holding out on this as I don''t think he likes the idea of me ''getting'' the kids and any resulting financial commitment he would have to give to me for that. He''d happily give them money, but not me.
I suppose what I''m asking is how much this will this be directed by solicitors? He wants to settle things amicanly but can be quite unreasonable/ignorant of the issues. Will his soliciotr recognise that and advise him about what is the best he can hope for realistically with all the facts presented.