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Divorce - Financial advice - what to do now?

  • Rara77
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15 May 12 #330757 by Rara77
Topic started by Rara77
Hello,
Would you be so kind and advise me as I''m totally confused about everything at the moment ...:(
My story (I will try and be brief): I''ve been married for over 11 years. Last year my husband found himself a new girlfriend and I found out only because she contacted me through FB stating, they wished to buy a house together so she wanted to be sure we aren''t in touch. My husband wanted to pay the deposit with our savings. Now I will skip the part of threats from her and him (I don’t think he bought the house) ... Basically, without seeing him (he stayed at hers) I packed my personal belongings and after 11 years in the UK I had to move abroad, where I originally come from. We have a flat with my husband abroad where I''ve been paying, out of our savings, the mortgage for over a year and where I live (have nowhere else to go). He isn''t responding to my emails or messages and if he does he is rude almost like I''ve done something to him not the other way round. I''ve been emotionally and financially very low, only trying to survive (he blocked all the cards - we had a joint bank account). The mortgage for the flat is approx. £450 while I earn around £500 and the savings are running out. I didn''t have any spare money to be applying or even thinking of a divorce as I was too busy just surviving. Now, my husband has applied and sent me the Petition. I strongly disagree with his statements, none of them are true, however, after reading posts here about cross petitions and defending the divorce, I will have to agree to it (although I''m very upset about it). Now, I wonder what to do next. I''ve contacted my husband several times regarding the property we have, since there is the end of fixation period and the repayments would drop significantly so I could actually afford to stay in the flat. The other option is to sell the flat; however, we bought it before the crisis and selling it now we would both end up with over £8k debt (and no flat). He hasn''t let me know yet as what his plans are although I described in detail our options. He just doesn''t communicate with me. He has moved on with his life, he has a girlfriend, a job in the army that fulfils him, while I cannot move on at any level. I''m very tired and depressed, thinking I will be homeless and £8k in debt and none of it is my fault. I had to move out from a country that I considered my home for 11 years and I''m a citizen of. My question is, what can I do now? Should I try and apply for financial support from him? What are my chances to succeed? How can I force him to talk to me? Now I''m in the position of signing divorce papers with false statements (that really bothers me), my health has suffered because of the stress too so naturally my job is at risk too. I will try and contact the army to see if they could help me in any way, however, for the mediation I will need to be present in the UK and simply I can''t afford to travel there and back and the hotel as well. I will appreciate any advice, if any. Thank you

  • WhiteRose
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17 May 12 #331175 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Hi Rara,

Hugs!

With the divorce petition you sign but state ''I agree the marriage has ended and wish to proceed with the divorce, however I do not agree to the statements listed'' - or words to this affect.

Have a look at the link below which shows the next stages:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Step-By-Step-G...de/Introduction.html

You will no doubt want to look at how the marital pot is to be split. To get help here, we''ll need to know:

Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages;

How many nights the children spend with each parent;

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;

Your respective incomes;

Your respective outgoings;

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Your liabilities.


Take care

WR

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