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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Who gets to stay in the House

  • lostandonthesofa
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11 Jun 12 #336108 by lostandonthesofa
Topic started by lostandonthesofa
Hi All,
few days ago my wife told me to leave her and the children.
She told me I have to pay for all the bills still and just to leave, I don''t know if she has someone else to just appear and take my place.
What do I actaully have to pay, I cannot live and pay for 2 house''s. My mortguage is £900 pm + all the bills etc.. I would hafve to live in a box for the rest of my life.
theirs no way she can pay the mortgage alone.

What happens? Is their where my life stops and I just spend my days trying to support the once family home?

  • cookie2
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11 Jun 12 #336114 by cookie2
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Do not move out. It is your home as much as it is hers. You both have the right to stay there. If you move out it may disadvantage you later on.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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11 Jun 12 #336139 by MrsMathsisfun
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Tell her you will only consider moving out when all the mortgage/bills etc are in her name only. Also I would suggest you tell her from the beginning if you decide to move out (and if things get to difficult it might be better to) you will be paying 20% of net income in CSA and from that she will have to pay all the bills/mortgage/food etc.

Explain to her if you can afford to pay 20% of your net income, rent somewhere, live reasonable and have some spare money then you might be able to pay something towards the mortgage.

Your stbx needs a reality check, she doesnt get to separate and keep your bank account.

The stbx might get to stay in the house, but only if she can afford to financially maintain it. You also have a right to be suitable homed.

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11 Jun 12 #336163 by lostandonthesofa
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Hi Good advice, but I think she has someone waiting to step in and take my place... so money is probably no object.

I guess i need to decide if I can walk away, right now I think I have a chance to keep my children, maybe I have to stick it out for a few weeks I dunno.

theirs no way she can affford the bills the mortgage alone is £900, council tax £120, gas electric £150 water £50, TV £70 etc.. I think her take home is £600 even with 20% of mine its not possible with the £400 child care bills.

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11 Jun 12 #336167 by survive
Reply from survive
Reading between the lines, this seems like quite early days to me. I would not do anything in haste. As another wiki has said you have as much right to be there too. However, depending upon the circumstances of the split etc, you may be able to discuss amicably a suitable solution, especially if there are children involved as the last thing they need is to be living in a warzone.

You both need to decide if one of you can keep the property, or you need to sell and both downsize? Or maybe pay partially towards the children and her until they reach a certain age. You haven''t said if your wife works etc and how old, if at all the children are.

Definataley, you would not be expected to pay all the mortgage, all the bills and child maintenance and just move out.

Good luck

Survive

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11 Jun 12 #336169 by lostandonthesofa
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Wife Works part time, in theory half working half looking after the kids being primary career but thats not realistic.
Today they both went to nursary all day.
Tomorow I am sure they will again.

I am 37 she is 33

the house is worth 0 financaillly, its worth £135K if I am lucky probably more like £125 and outstanding is £135k

Both children are very young, 1 and 3. I cant think of not being with them, and I honestly dont think my wife cares one way or the other..

  • Marshy_
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11 Jun 12 #336176 by Marshy_
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Hi LostAnd. She prob thinks she can get the guy in there to help pay for things. This explains why she wants you out the way. Pronto. Could also explain the nastyness. I know this seems unbelievable that the person that you sent the card too a little while ago could do this to you but she can and will.

She is the enemy now. You have to understand that and you are just in the way of her new life. She dont care about you now. Just her new man and new life. But keep cool and calm. The desire to know what she is upto will be overwealming. But you have to avoid this at all costs. It will be hard. But just try and stay out of her way for now.

There is also a tendency to try and think too far ahead. Any house sale or divorce or anything else is a very long way off. Just try and sit tight for now. U never know, she may leave. Which although will crush you, will be the best possible outcome for you long term. Keep yr chin up dude. C.

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