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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Who gets to stay in the House

  • cookie2
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12 Jun 12 #336282 by cookie2
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Hmm, if the house is worth £0 then you''ll probably lose nothing by moving out. And as MathsisFun said, you will pay YOUR rent, bills etc first, anything that is left over at the end of the month can go to your ex. It doesn''t work the other way around (she gets what she wants and you get what''s left).

In these circumstances it might actually be worth you moving out and allowing New Guy to move in. If he helps out with the bills then it will be better for you, you will not have to pay SM if she does not need it.

  • Rumplestiltsk1n
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17 Jun 12 #337256 by Rumplestiltsk1n
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cookie2 wrote:

Do not move out. It is your home as much as it is hers. You both have the right to stay there. If you move out it may disadvantage you later on.

i must reiterate this....whatever you do, do not move out. A friend of mine went through divorce and the first thing his solicitor said was whatever you do, do not move out!! He stayed in that house for 2 years and it was the best thing he ever did. Now he has shared residence of his two kids and couldnt be happier.

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17 Jun 12 #337257 by Rumplestiltsk1n
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is it a joint mortgage or sole mortgage in your name?

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17 Jun 12 #337260 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Please, please think very carefully about moving out. When I felt that I could take no more I was going to move out but thankfully an old friend who is a barrister phoned and told me in no uncertain terms that I must NOT move out. My ex was covering up an affair and moved out a few months later to live with OW.
I know how hard it is to stay but keep strong and go and buy that bed you need. If your lucky she will go and leave you with your kids :)(((Big Hug)))

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17 Jun 12 #337262 by startagain
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My ex wanted me out quick too - she was having an affair - denying it of course - I knew her bloke had got big promotion - my ex was very keen to remove my name from all the bills, close the joint account and move DD payment to her account. She was very relaxed about it even though I knew she could not pay all this on what she earnt. As she said "I am happy just to be on my own with the kids and maybe in 7 years time I might think about starting a new relationship" I miss heard her it was "7 days" not "7 years" silly me! . We did have a bit of equity in the house, but my ex was very adamant to start with that I should get nothing in the way of a settlement.

The bottom line is you only have to pay CM and SM is up to a court to sort. The issue is if both names are on the mortgage they will chase both of you even if you do not live in the house.

So even if you leave and struggle to pay for 2 places you will fail and the house gets repossessed or you leave and do not pay the mortgage the house gets repossessed. She is take a very big gamble no matter what.

Who should leave? I think too many men just leave with not thinking it through. I think the unhappy person, the person who wants out might be the one best place to leave. (I am aware if there abuse or addiction this will be a different case).

Yes advice is to stay and legally this is right, emotionally and practically I think not! I lived under the same roof for 5 months it was hell it really was the tension in the home get too much if they are have an affair . The danger is she may work to have your removed you because she feels threatened etc.

I thought about staying in the house and fantasied about kicking her out, but leaving was the best thing I did it gave me control to heal and start again.

Her bloke moved quickly in and cover all the bills and the mortgage, bless him! He then got made redundant from his big job and his pay off helped my ex to buy me out of the house, bless him again!

Leave or stay it up to you all of us has different financial circumstances it what is possible for you really.

If you do leave remove your name from the bills, cannot do this with the mortgage but tell her she needs to cover this in full. Set up 50:50 care for kids and just pay the CSA advised amount for CM.

If she does have a bloke in waiting she will be fine. If she doesn''t then she might need a better plan as you cannot give her what you do not have or cannot afford.

Take care

  • lostandonthesofa
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17 Jun 12 #337264 by lostandonthesofa
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wow alot of inforamtion

the house is in my name only.

all the bills are in my name, I have even paid her credit cards off a few time.

I took a hit paying the finance on her car as well.

I think the worst part is the number of other people in the same boat...

She couldnt be happier at the moneny shes the cat that got the cream, tomorrow I apply for a divorce, and then we will see how fast we can get the rest done.

I dont want to date again I feel too old, I said whne I started dating her I am not going through this again, which is why I tried to provide everything.

  • Rumplestiltsk1n
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17 Jun 12 #337268 by Rumplestiltsk1n
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then stay put. i have heard of people changing the locks while the spouse is out and there is absolutely nothing they can do. The police cannot do anything either as it isnt a criminal matter.

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