Separation, asset and liability

I have recently separated from my husband of 4 years (no kids) and I have moved out of the house. we are both under 30years and have decided that things are not working.

At the moment, all direct debits are coming out of my account and he is paying me he''s share of it until he can sort he''s bank account out as well as change the name on the items such as electricity etc as they are all in my name apart from the mortgage which is in joint name.

This should hopefully be done for september.

As I did not contribute to the deposit on the house, i agreed to take my name of the house (the equity doesnt bother me as i would take piece of mind and happiness over this).

So all in all, from september i should have no asset or liability relating to the house and in two years, we will both agree and sign the divorce.

I would be grateful if anyone could give me their opinion or advice on my situation?

Why wait 2 years?

I''m not totally sure about the rules in Northern Ireland, butin England and Wales you can get a divorce immediately using unreasonable behaviour, and it is almost always a better idea to do this than to wait 2 years. What if your ex disappears or changes his mind and refuses to consent in 2 years time? People change, and 2 years is not a short time, it is half the length of your marriage after all.

Whilst it is true that you can use unresonable behaviour as a reason for a divorce, that can also lead to a lot of ill feeling. Especially if it was just a case of things werent that great between you and he actually hadnt been unreasonable in any way, and neither had you.

Also it is true that 2 years is a long time to have to wait, and people can change in that time. It is even possible that they can change for the better. I know that may sound a bit mad, but you never know.

I do wish you well, and I hope you find the solution that will work best for you. Take care and good luck to you.

Stumpylad70 wrote:

Whilst it is true that you can use unresonable behaviour as a reason for a divorce, that can also lead to a lot of ill feeling.

There''s really no reason for that. If you are both mature adults and amicable then you can both understand what is required to get a divorce now, and decide between you who will be Petitioner and what grounds can be used. If you''re not mature or amicable enough for that, then I would suggest that waiting 2 years will cause more problems than it solves anyway. And don''t forget that your ex could file using UB at any time during that 2 years.

If you''ve *already* been separated 2 years then sure, use 2 years separation to keep it amicable. But deciding to wait 2 years doesn''t make much sense to me. If the marriage is over then it makes sense to end it sooner rather than later.

Unless they have a personality disorder adults have emotions which are likely to be heightened when a relationship ends. Human nature is such that fault finding in an UB Petition has the potential to cause resentment and resistance, whereas constructive progress may be made more quickly by allowing some time to adjust to the emotional realities of the end of the relationship before tackling the divorce.

The law in NI is similar to that of England & Wales although there are local differences. In E&W you need a court order to settle finances so that no claims can be made in the future. The first part of the divorce is normally applied for before the order is made. However, there is an option to make a Separation Agreement for the financial arrangements.

A Separation Agreement is a contract but it in E&W isn''t treated in the same way as commercial contract. Although it would carry considerable weight should there be problems later a separation agreement is always subject to review and a court order is still required. The advantage of a separation agreement is that the finances can be agreed when the relationship breaks down, both parties can start independent lives and then the divorce can be done after two years separation with consent and the finances finalised with the court order so that future claims are dismissed.

Thank you all for your comments.

We are both keen to keep things amicable and i am aware that 2years is a long time to wait but at thesame time we dont feel we need to make accusations to divorce.

So far so good in terms of the separation, we have spoken several times and things are going ok. Conversation is improving as time passes.

Regarding asset and liability, the only asset is the house which i have agreed to sign over as i did not make contribution to the deposit and his family put up a large amount.

We will hopefully be going to see the bank regarding the mortgage in a few weeks to get my name removed from it and then remove my name from the deed to the house.

All other housing matter expense are being transfered to his account.