she wont discuss financial split

got notification of nesi last week after waiting for nearly 2 years to end a 22yr marriage. I''m the respondent and agreed to accept unreasonable behavior grounds, even thou wife was the unfaithful drunkard. We took divorce slow so that she could get her act together, decide where to live, get job etc. She has made no effort and refuses to discuss future financial arrangements or move out. We have 2 children at university and one in secondary school.All have expressed a wish to live with me, and she accepts this (eldest 2 are only at uni for 30-36wks per year). What can i do to force financial settlement. I have offered to provide her with sufficient monies to buy a 1 bed flat locally and maybe provide a bit of cash on top. The monies for this would come by re-mortgaging our current house, which would be signed over to me. All in all she will get 30-40%of our total assets. She has never worked in a paid position during our marriage, but did settle about 30% of the capital borrowed as part of the mortgage on our house, the other 70% and 20years worth of interest i paid. Am i not offering her enough?, what is deemed a fair split?, bearing in mind that i''ll want no maintenance for the youngest who is only 12. if the Absolute goes through and she still won''t go will i have to sell the house from under her to get her to move on!!! Feeling trapped in no mans land, with a soon to be ex who now refuses to move on!!!!

Make an application to the court for Ancillary Relief. This will give you a fixed timetable for the resolution of your financial matters.
You don''t provide enough information for a guess at the likely outcome. We need to know:
Your ages
Your health
length of marriage
length of prior cohabitation
No and age of kids
value of house, any mortgage
your salaries
your pension CETV''s
any savings
any debts

to answer your questions, im 47, shes 48. both of us are fit, though she has a tendency to get depressed and was treated for this in 2010. we,ve been married for 20yrs and lived together for 2 before this.We have a 12year old son, another 20yr old just about to start his second yr at uni, and a 22yr old duaghter just about to start a uni degree. all still live at home when not studying. Hse is worth £480k (crazy london prices!)with no mortgage. I make say £30k my wife does not work. I have a pension with CEV of £25k and savings of £30k. I have no debts, though my soon to be ex owes about £2500.
I thought Ancillary Relief order would be made by her in order to take money out of our joint assets, ie once we''d agreed split. didnt realise it could be used to force her to agree/discuss financial split.

thanks for responding, ps what sort of time frame is involved, can i as respondent start this procedure? cheers again.

Either of you can make an Ancillary Relief claim. It does not matter who does it, the outcome will be the same. Nobody can force her to agree/discuss a financial split, but a judge can impose one whether she agrees or not, and this is what ancillary relief is. She obviously has no motivation to do it because she is quite happy with the status quo. So if you are wanting to force a conclusion then you should apply.

I think your offer is quite fair, you''re offering 30-40% of total assets which is £150-160k. This is certainly enough for her to get on her feet in a new place. Since you''d be pretty much maxing out your mortgage capacity to make that offer, if she wants any more then I think it would need to be done via a Mesher order. Personally if I were her I would take £160k now rather than £200k in 8 years time.