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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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help / advise please

  • dad65
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25 Jul 12 #345406 by dad65
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I took out a mesher order 7 yrs ago on my own choosing when divorced mainly to ensure my two children were secure in the family home and not upset by further disruption ( I left the bad marriage and family home ) and am now happily re married

I have been paying without fail for 7 yrs monthly the mortgage as agreed in the mesher order as a / instead of child maintenance
20% salary - the mortgage is fixed and fits this %

however circumstances have changed with illness and poverty etc

my wife and I private rental - and always have had to

I have been Ill for 18months and my wife is out of work ( also poorly ) and hence I have lost hours and half my old salary

we now cannot sustain our own private rent payments of £ 515 and also my mesher order mortgage - which goes up in a few months to circa £400

The bank are aware of the situation and are keen to begin litigation when i go behind on oayments ( I havent as yet )

I am being transparent about the situation and communicating by letter to bank and ex wife - she is ignoring the letters and says i have to pay

I am concerned that the payments will default as we my income is now low and we have to try to sustain our levels here of rent and bills

If the bank step in with litigation will my ex wife be protected

or will the house be sold

any advise would be very welcome as it is stressfull and I feel I have done my very best this past 7 years to sustain my children''s security in the old family home

the mortgage is my name only - as my ex wife was not a UK citizen and unable to get a mortgage at the time in 1999

she is now working and has a full time long term partner who lives a few doors away in his own home - - so not to break the mesher order - which prevents cohabitation ! However he stays in the home every night and helps with costs i presume

she in effect is breaking the order - but as the partner man lives a few doors away it is not officially a co habit - she therefore also as ''single'' mother receives various benefits, (i do not)

The pressures of being the mortgage holder on this property at the stresses of my own rental home and the stresses on my second very successful marriage are slowly taking their toll

I would advise anyone NOT to enter into a mesher order scenario after my experience

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26 Jul 12 #345433 by Reddit
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What percentage of the equity do you expect to realise under the order when the house is sold? How old are the kids?

The bank are aware of the situation and are keen to begin litigation when i go behind on oayments


No reputable bank would say this. They would say something like "you are at risk of losing your home if you do not keep up the payments."

If your circumstances have changed, you should apply to the court for variation.

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26 Jul 12 #345472 by cookie2
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dad65 wrote:

I have been paying without fail for 7 yrs monthly the mortgage as agreed in the mesher order as a / instead of child maintenance
20% salary - the mortgage is fixed and fits this %

Well. If you stop paying the mortgage, I would expect your ex wife to apply to the CSA to get child maintenance, which you say is the same amount anyway. So you''d be in exactly the same position, just giving the money to her instead of to the bank. And your credit rating would be mud, to boot. So really I can''t see any advantage to stopping paying the mortgage, and I can''t see how the Mesher order has caused you to be paying any extra than you would of been paying anyway.

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26 Jul 12 #345517 by dad65
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thanks for comments - the mortgage is only that low price currently due to fixed rate that i arranged 2 yrs ago - it goes up to 400 in jan - ex wife under the terms is supposed to look to meet the shortfall of 200 - she wont

My credit rating is mud already ( as you say ) due to ill health and the consequences

looking for a lawyers comments and insight - if you are one let me know ....please if not then your comments are also welcome but its beyond the layman this one

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26 Jul 12 #345521 by dad65
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if you are a solicitor Reddit please advise what i would need do to warrant a claim for a variation - is this an option for a sensible judge to see on paper that this is unsustainable and untenable and needs changing now due to my illness and situation etc

well the bank collections department did say this is what they will do

its their procedure and i wanted to know - and yes they move toward litigation team when it defaults after say 2 payments - they are after a return on the loans and mortgage that i took out with the bank and they will see the few assets in the house value as theirs.

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26 Jul 12 #345526 by cookie2
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It doesn''t seem "beyond the layman" at all to me, in fact it''s quite simple. Your Consent Order says you will pay £X and your ex wants you to pay £Y because the mortgage is going up. But you can''t afford to pay any more than £X and feel it is her responsibility to meet the mortgage payment increase.

Your Consent Order should indemnify you against this kind of thing, if it was drafted properly.

If you''re looking for proper legal advice then I''d recommend seeing a solicitor rather than seeking advice from strangers on an internet forum. Even if I say I am a solicitor how do you know I am telling the truth? We try to give good advice but you should not rely on it in court, if you tell the judge something you heard on the internet then you will be laughed at. Many solicitors do a free initial consultation so if you want real legal advice then I''d advise this.

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26 Jul 12 #345565 by WhiteRose
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dad65 wrote:

thanks for comments - the mortgage is only that low price currently due to fixed rate that i arranged 2 yrs ago - it goes up to 400 in jan - ex wife under the terms is supposed to look to meet the shortfall of 200 - she wont


If the order states she must pay the difference from January then thats what she should do.

Of course she says she won''t - she wants you to keep paying.

All you need to do is ascertain the facts and abide by them - pay the amount ordered and leave her to do the rest.

I agree with Cookie and perhaps a solicitor could word a letter to her to this affect giving her prior warning that from Jan she will have to meet the difference as per the order.

Is your concern that you can no longer meet the amount you''re paying now or the amount that it will increase to?

You have time to sort this out properly (before Jan), don''t just stop paying, as tight as things get, they''ll only get worse if you do that.

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