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husband''s decision to accept buying out offer

  • Visionair
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29 Jul 12 #345863 by Visionair
Topic started by Visionair
does anybody know if the new wife of ex husband has any right of say when it comes to her husband''s decision to accept an offer made by his ex-wife to buy out his share of the house? [The house was purchased solely by the husband for £255,000. Once the family settled in the house with 2 kids (one from the previous marriage), the wife files for divorce... literally in 6 months (house purchased in october, she files for divorce in May). The husband leaves everything and moves to another house where he has over 80% of mortgage to pay.
In 2 years he remarries. One month later he receives an offer from his ex-wife to buy out his share of the house for £50,000.
Does the new wife has any say in this process or husband can do as he wishes as it is his share of the house and the new wife cant have any claim?
Thank you for reading and advice if any. Laura

  • Fiona
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29 Jul 12 #345869 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I hope the husband sought legal advice and hasn''t fallen into the remarriage trap. Someone who has remarried can''t make a new application for a financial order.

The second wife has no claim on the matrimonial assets from the first marriage. If the husband had built up new assets by his efforts alone, say contributions to his pension, the second wife might have a claim on the bit attributed to the second relationship.

  • Visionair
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30 Jul 12 #346034 by Visionair
Reply from Visionair
Thank you for your answer, Fiona. I do not see any documents showing that my husband had any legal advice.
The only reason I was asking is that my husband''s ex-wife hired solicitors to go over the valuation of the assets which I had to do to get the Grant of Probate as my husband died last September after sudden diagnosis of an extreamly agressive brain tumor in July. We have two children; one of which was born a month after his death.
My husband had another child with his ex-wife. He left me a case with the documents related to their divorce - letters from her solicitors, her ''Mission Statement'' where among many affirmations she mentiones divorcing my husband by certain month and year, her correspondence with her doctor-lover as well as Open Financial Statement according to which SHE had most of the liabilities (a few credit cards with 5k debt) and HE owned all the assets - their mortage-free family house worth 250k purchased 6 months prior to the divorce using all of his inheritance money, another house worth 210k with the mortgage (where she kicked him out to later on), and a few bank accounts with 10k in total.

I wonder how it is possible that she was left with a child and absolutely NOTHING after her first divorce or she fooled everyone. I know that my husband never carried out investigation. He just told me that looking back he felt that she had planned everything very carefully. A few of my husband''s friends said to stay away from her and not to regret that my husband''s kids are loosing contact. I am wondering sometimes what she had done to my husband (very handsome and 6 years younger than her) who gave up his job a year before the divorce to look after her because she had some kind of desease that made her muscles weak, left her depressed and anxious; he also put her into a private clinic which cost him over 17k. Having said all of this she has some degree in sociology and psychology from the open university.. which feels odd as when you read her Mission Statement you can see that she is extreamly unsecure.. forcing herself ''''to make a contact with at least one person a day'''' and ''''get out of the house''''... But obviously she knows a bit what she does or maybe it is some kind of black magic.

Now, this woman knows that my husband walked out of their marriage with a mortgage and 10k in savings, I have not had a chance to work while we were married over 4 years because had one child and fell pregnant again 8 months before my husband''s death. I and my husband''s friends are shocked how one who stripped her partner of everything and knows that he was left with nothing is going after my assets now, looking for more...I know she has all the right to check; and I feel safe as I disclosed everything. But now i want to do the same favor to her and check her declared honesty during her divorce with my husband.

I do not want to do this because of money as I think my husband would not want me to cause any financial harm to his first son whom he loved to bits, but to expose this woman.. I do not want her to tell her son when he grows up that his dad left everything to his second family and did not think of him, which would not be true. When my husband touched on this subject briefly while in the hospital he never mentioned the first son as he knew that he left plenty for his first wife - 250k house in return for 50k.
So, if I dare to ask another question - do you know if it is possible to investigate the details of the first divorce which happened over 15 years ago to see the details of the division of the assets?
Thank you once more and sorry for relaying this long story.

  • cookie2
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30 Jul 12 #346075 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
Visionair wrote:

to expose this woman

Sorry, but you need to let it go. This path is not a good one to go down. It will lead to nothing but misery for you.

I do not want her to tell her son when he grows up that his dad left everything to his second family and did not think of him

This is not under your control. What she tells her son is up to her, not you. You cannot influence that any more than you can influence the weather. In fact by trying to tell her how to bring up her son, you will do nothing except increase animosity. Remember he has 2 half-siblings, the relationship between them should be encouraged. It would be a shame to allow the hatred between adults to get in the way of this. It is not the kids'' fault, after all.

So, if I dare to ask another question - do you know if it is possible to investigate the details of the first divorce

No, it is a private matter. And even if you could find out the details you would be well advised to leave it alone,. for the reasons given above. It was 15 years ago. Let it go.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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30 Jul 12 #346081 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
I think the issue the op has is that the ex wife is now trying to go after the assets left when the husband died.

If there was a Clean Break then she would have no claim. I dont know what happens if she was receiving sm.

  • hadenoughnow
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30 Jul 12 #346088 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
Laura, I am so sorry to hear about your husband''s untimely death and the problems you are having with his ex wife.

How long ago was the divorce? One really important piece of information is whether or not there was a financial settlement agreed by a court either by consent or imposed. This would bar her from any claim although if she was receiving spousal maintenance, she may be able to benefit from any pension. How old is the son from his previous marriage.

If there was no legally binding settlement, the next question would be whether there are still any assets in joint names. If there are not and it is more than six years after the divorce, it would be hard for her to bring a case. Have you had any indication that this is her intention?

Did your husband leave a will?

You are rightly angry about losing your husband in such a terrible way. I think you are channeling that anger into your feelings against this woman who clearly hurt him a great deal. But that is in the past. He had moved on with you. Going back over old animosities is not going to help you and it may well cause problems you just don''t need right now.

It must be very tough coping with two small children and this terrible loss. Have you had any bereavement counselling? You may well find it helps. ((((Hug))))


  • Visionair
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30 Jul 12 #346220 by Visionair
Reply from Visionair
Thank you for your opinion. No I do not want to go down this route. It is just my husband died a year ago, and we are slowly trying to recover and now I get this letter from my husband''s ex-wife(Mrs.V) announcing that they are going to re-evaluate everything to see if there are some extra pounds that could be shared.
My husband''s ex-wife knows well that she left my husband with 10k in savings and mortgage on the house where he had to go to at the time of divorce. At the time of divorce he had 98% of his assets in property which he purchased entirely with all his inheritance money, less than 10k in savings and 2k in liabilities. According to Mrs. V financial standing she was completely insolvent - 4k in liabilities and 1k in assets, so consequently they divided all the property that my husband purchased. I wonder how one can be insolvent if she had a previous marriage + child in it. So, I guess her ex-husband left her with Absolute zero when they divorced. I guess Cookie2 if you were in such a situation as i am now and preparing yourself for independent re-evaluation of everything by smbd (it is my time at the end, not speaking of the stress that i need the least now), you would not wonder having looked at all the documents that your dying husband left you why Mrs.V was completely insolvent at the time of divorce having been in previous marriage, you would not recall a call you had from a private investigator a few years ago asking if Mrs. V lived at this address and where she moved now, etc. Yes, some say,''''when you are raped, it is best to relax and enjoy'''':). Unfortunately, I do not share this opinion.

Re children: I told Mrs. V at the funeral and later on that it would be nice if kids see each other and she brings her son (C) every other weekend just as it was before even though it would be hard for me to look after 3 children on my own, but I was willing to have them all together just as in the old time. There were no attempts, even over the term holidays when C and his mum were in the area, to came and visit half-siblings. Mrs. V is not even interested i guess in her son meeting his only half-sister which was born after my husband''s death. I also sent C disc with the pictures and videos of him and dad and it came back to me with a stamp''addressees gone away''. I txted them both and had no reply. So my reply to your comment- the other side is not interested in keeping the relationship between the half-siblings. So far we had only positive communication with Mrs.V. untill a week ago when her solicitors started talking with me. We did not really see each other - only at the funeral and on a few several other occasions before that. So, to be honest I do not know why she, being a psychologist, would not encourage half-siblings spending time together. I know my husband of course would want them to stay in touch.

Also, I cant influence how Mrs. V brings up her son. I am sure he is in safe hands, cause if a child at the age of 6 starts asking how much you have in your account, if you have property and if so, how big it is in square feet, you know where it is all coming from. I do not blame the kid, but in a way I admire this woman how skillfully she is using the young mind. I guess being a psychologist thats what you do - use everything in your disposal for your own benefit. My husband''s friends told me ages ago to be extreamly careful with this woman.

Thank you for your time anyways. My husband was just as nice as you are and was left with debt and lots of headache by not drawing a line at certain time. I probably wont go down thgis route cause even to answer this postings takes so much of my precious time.
Also, another little detail.. i know it makes no difference - I met my husband when he was completely down after this divorce. I was not a third person in the relationship. However my husband, knew for sure that his ex-wife was unfaithful as he had the password to Mrs.V''s email and had a copy of her correspondence with her lover. Prior to that he paid 17k out his inheritance money for her private treatment in Priory cause she was depressed and anxious which she never returned. I think my husband tried to make the relationship work to the last day of their marriage or the sake of the child, and she just used and exploited his love in her own favour. The world is unfair...

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