A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Need help and advice!!!

  • blank2000
  • blank2000's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
31 Jul 12 #346410 by blank2000
Topic started by blank2000
Hi, hoping someone can advise me here. Separated in March 2010 when found out ex was cheating. He kept putting off divorce so i did it all and Absolute was dec 2011. My children, his step children who he had brought up as his own are now 16 and 18. we had both been told previously he would have to pay half mortgage until youngest was 18 and he has been. Due to his financial difficulties, he spends money he doesnt have and buys girlfriend alot of stuff getting him into deeper debt, we had agreed that i would take over mortgage and have him xfer equity and he could stop mortgage nw and not pay the moey he owed me. 3 weeks later i get a letter from a solicitor saying he is asking for £40,000. I just dont have that kind of money or the capability of getting it. What should I do? I know my fault for not using a solicitor before but neither of us could afford one and he kept saying we didnt need one as we had our own agreement So scared I will have to sell house and end up with nothing.

  • LittleMrMike
  • LittleMrMike's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
31 Jul 12 #346456 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
He could ask for a million pounds but if you can''t pay it, he won''t get it. You cannot get blood out of a stone.
The Court''s first priority is the children. They must have a home at least until they are 18 and maybe longer than that.
In any event you need a home too.
So where does he live then ? Wouldn''t there be two incomes coming into his new household ???
I don''t really know enough to be able to advise but initial thoughts are that he may huff and puff but he unlikely to blow your house down. If the marriage is longish, as it may well be, he will get some interest in the house, but he may have to wait some time before he can realise it.
I am posting this from North Carolina and most regular denizens of this forum will know why, but hope to return on Friday so will content myself with a few preliminary observations but we can always continue this discussion later.
LMM

  • blank2000
  • blank2000's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
31 Jul 12 #346470 by blank2000
Reply from blank2000
he currently shares a flat with a mate but spends most of his time at his girlfriends and her 2 children. We weremarried for 9 years. I did everything to the house and continued to finish doing it up at my cost. Im just cross as it was agreed this would happen then he changed his mind. I know hes short of money which is why we agreed it but it doesnt stop him spending on luxuries while i watch every penny. My daughter still has a year at college and wanted to keep everything settled until they were both able to leave home.
Any help and advise would be great on your return, just dont know what to do. Im not expecting him to keep me as i work full time(just low wages) and i pay half the mortgage along with all bills and childrens upkeep.

  • cookie2
  • cookie2's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
01 Aug 12 #346542 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
Need more info:

1. Your respective ages
2. Your respective incomes including any benefits
3. Your respective pensions
4. The house value and outstanding mortgage amount
5. Any other assets such as savings, shares etc
6. Any debts or liabilities such as credit cards, loans etc
7. How much is he currently paying exactly? child maintenance, mortgage, spousal maintenance?

  • blank2000
  • blank2000's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
01 Aug 12 #346553 by blank2000
Reply from blank2000
Hi, ok I am 40 he is 38 (children 16 & 18)
He earns around £19000 and my new job next month I will be on £15000. He has a small pension with work paying around £6000 per year, I have the option for a work pension but unsure if i can afford the deduction from income. House is valued at around £200000 with an outstanding balance of £95000.
We both put into deposit his being £15000 and mine £45000 (which was borred from my prev ex husband to home the children) Have no savings or shares etc....
The only debt is what he has got since he left March 2010 and i can prove this as have last cc statement from March 2010.
As the children were from prev marriage (although he called himself dad) he doesnt pay any maintenance he just pays half the mortgage payment which is £340 per month, so I pay the other half and all bills etc.
I have a friend who was going to replace him on mortgage as I know I can live on these amounts but now hes asking for £40000 there is no way I can afford to borrow more. If I sell Im sure I will have to pay the childrens dad his money back as I will have the funds to do it where if its tied in the house he said he is happy to wait until children older, but if i have to pay him back now it will leave me with nothing towards a new house. I live in a small end of terrace 3 bed so cant even downsize.
I really thought it was sorted as he seemed happy to walk away from paying mortgage and to xfer to my name. I feel so lost and helpless........

  • cookie2
  • cookie2's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
01 Aug 12 #346579 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
jmjspurs1 wrote:

If I sell Im sure I will have to pay the childrens dad his money back

Do you have a Consent Order with your first husband? Is this sum mentioned in it? What were the terms of this loan, was it documented?

His demands for £40k are quite ridiculous but I very much doubt your husband will leave empty handed. There is simply no money to give him at the moment, but the children are almost 18 so I think he''d have a good chance of getting a Mesher order on the house.

If he''s currently paying £340 a month then I would simply do nothing. If/when that changes you can take action but for now I think the status quo is quite good for you.

  • blank2000
  • blank2000's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
01 Aug 12 #346583 by blank2000
Reply from blank2000
No Consent Order with first husband, it was his house to sell etc but to home kids lent me money (i really dont think he will push for it back to be fair to him) but he does have an agreement between us i have no copy.
I was wondering as my deposit was much bigger than his whether i would get a bigger equity split? Also if i was to buy him out i wasnt sure if i read on another post that estate agent costs etc are deducted from the amount first so surely that would reduce it by a fair amount? Was hoping someone could give me a realistic figure to go back with taking into account he would be saving mortgage payments if all sorted now. I want an end to it and him completely out of our lives.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11