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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Need help and advice!!!

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01 Aug 12 #346677 by cookie2
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A Mesher order is basically a delayed sale order. It means that his share of the equity is acknowledged as being £X but it is also acknowledged that the house cannot be sold at the moment due to circumstances. So the sale order would be delayed until one of a number of triggers happens, typically the triggers are the children reaching 18, the wife remarrying or cohabiting, the wife moving house, or mutual consent. This may sound good but there are many drawbacks which I won''t go into here, as it''s getting a bit off topic.

Sales costs, well if you''re settling out of court then you need to come to an agreement with your ex. If he will agree a figure then that is what the figure will be. Whether that includes sales costs or not is down to your negotiations.

Look at it from his point of view. Say the house is sold, he might have £X in his pocket after all costs etc. So it would make sense, if you wanted to buy him out, that you give him £X. That means he has exactly the same amount in his pocket as if it is sold to a stranger. I think anyone with any common sense would find that argument hard to fault.

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01 Aug 12 #346761 by MrsMathsisfun
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Sorry when I said wait until son is 18. I meant with a mesher order. Not a verbal agreement to wait.

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02 Aug 12 #346840 by blank2000
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Ok, think I get the Mesher but think that could come back and hit me as who knows what the real equity could be by then.
I have been advised as my son will be at college until hes 19 I could use this as a bargaining tool in that if we do it now I will be saving him just over £12,000 in mortgage payments. I have also been advised to push for 3/4 equity as that would equate the value of deposit i put in. Going by my figures of costs etc he would get around £22,000 in 3 years time or i could save him the £12,000 now and go in with the one off offer of £5,000. Does this sound quite fair when that is every penny I have to offer? At least that would help him with his finances now or he will have to struggle for possibly 3 more years and to be honest I just want to be free of it all. If I had more cash available or could borrow more on mortgage then I would, Im not doing it to be mean as I have paid for all other costs involved with repairs to house etc.

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02 Aug 12 #346843 by MrsMathsisfun
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If you were to get a mesher, you would need to be able to afford the mortgage on your own.

Your ex would only be expected to help pay toward the mortgage if its considered you should receive sm. So dont think the ''I will be saving you x amount in mortgage would necessary work.''

One of the reasons why often the split in a mesher is in favour of the person staying in the FHM is to reflect that person continuing contributions to the mortgage.

Which offer would you prefer £5k now or receiving up £22k in 3 years?

Yes you might be lucky and your ex accept £5k now but if the shoe was on the other foot would you?

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02 Aug 12 #346849 by blank2000
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To be honest if i was struggling financially as much as he says the £5,000 now and being mortgage free saving money every month and allowing to perhaps get a mortgage with new partner and move on then I would take it. The £22,000 in 3 years time I doubt very much will cover his debts and solicitors bill so he wouldnt see any of it.
Maybe im looking too long term and should just continue with him paying keeping everyones lives on hold.

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02 Aug 12 #346852 by MrsMathsisfun
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But I am assuming what he wants is for the house to sold and get a larger amount of the equity and be mortgage free now.

Thats what your trying to stop happening so you have to convince him that the best option is to wait.

Would £5k really stop you attempting to get the house sold?

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02 Aug 12 #346855 by blank2000
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I imagine it wouldnt be a judges first choice to sell the house as i cant downsize as have 2 children and wouldnt have enough from the equity to buy anywhere else so im guessing he would have to continue in the meantime. As no one can predict house prices for 3 years time we both risking that there could be alot less equity by then would i be better off having an £ amount or a % amount?
I just want to do the best for my children and i dont believe uprooting them now is a good time as purposely bought this house due to location for long term.

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