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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


If I move out?

  • jaw
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06 Aug 12 #347553 by jaw
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Yeah, my ex was indifferent towards me for some time, until he realised I wanted to split, he then went completely over the top and was so full-on I wouldn''t even agree to receive a phone call from him.

Panic definitely set in when he thought he would be on his own. Lots of empty promises...

jaw

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06 Aug 12 #347555 by cookie2
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It sounds as though you both have reasonable incomes and approximately the same, at least in the same ball park? If so then a Clean Break with 50/50 split of assets is likely.

If he cannot afford to pay the mortgage alone then you should continue to contribute. Otherwise as you say, the lender will repossess, sell it for a very bad price, deduct all the fees and charges from the equity, and give you half of what''s left. You really should do everything you can to prevent that and if that means paying half the mortgage for a few months, then so be it.

  • JustSuze
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06 Aug 12 #347562 by JustSuze
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Are you OK now Jaw?
I''d love to hear it gets easier :)

Thanks ...nice to chat
Suze

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06 Aug 12 #347566 by JustSuze
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Cookie2,
Thanks for the reply.
I don''t like it, but I think you''re probably right :(

How do I ensure that I force the sale of the house and split of the assets as quickly as possible?

It seems to me that if he''s here and getting half the mortgage paid for him, he''s not going to be in any hurry to do anything.

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06 Aug 12 #347582 by jaw
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It does get easier!For a long time after, I would wake up in the mornings and for that split second between sleep and waking I''d forget he was gone and be filled with dread. But as soon as I was ''awake'' and reality dawned, I actually felt as though I was on holiday...I still feel like that 15 years on when I''ve had a bad dream...

As for my ex...he lodged with friends for a long time and kept posting me letters and shouting/pleading through the letterbox. But it did subside once I stopped feeding into it and changed my phone number ;)

jaw

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06 Aug 12 #347584 by cookie2
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JustSuze wrote:

How do I ensure that I force the sale of the house and split of the assets as quickly as possible?

It is m uch much easier if you have your ex''s cooperation. He must surely realize that he cannot afford the mortgage on his own. So if he has any sense he will also be trying to find a solution that works. However not everyone has any sense so you might need to take court action.

It seems to me that if he''s here and getting half the mortgage paid for him, he''s not going to be in any hurry to do anything.

Yes, that is the problem. You could tell him that you''ll pay £X per month for the next 3 months, £Y per month for the 3 after that, and after 6 months he''s on his own. It might be a bit of a bluff because you probably should not allow the house to be repossessed. But maybe that will convince him to actually remove butt from seat. But if it does not then a court application would be the only way.

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06 Aug 12 #347595 by u6c00
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Hi Suze

Sorry to hear you find yourself in an intolerable situation. I hope that both you and your husband find your feet, and some happiness in the future.

It sounds like your husband doesn''t know that a divorce is on the cards (at least not consciously). If that''s the case you should at least talk to him.

If you tell him it''s over and have already taken legal advice, worked out a division of the assets and all he has to do is sign on the dotted line he is going to be extremely upset, and understandably feel betrayed that you have been planning this for some time. If that feeling turns to anger you''ll find yourself in for a long, bitter, acrimonious and above all expensive divorce.

If you can keep things amicable then you have the option of mediation. Alternatively consider Relate if you believe that you might want to save the marriage.

When things get emotional, they get expensive.

All the best.

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