The background: My wife and I seperated for what I thought was short term, now seemingly permanent. I bought a new family home, changed old home mortgage to interest only to sell or rent. She moved to new home, I didn''t, to give her some thinking time. She is now not interested in trying to sort the marriage any longer.
I paid deposit, all mortgage payments and all bills and still do on old house which I remained in. She has a deed in trust to get half of the equity less fees.
I paid deposit, all fees and am still paying mortgage on new house, she pays all bills on it, and lives there with our children. It is a joint mortgage, she has never made any of the mortgage payments (3 months). She was supposed to take on the mortgage 2 months ago so that our finances were separate, she didnt, and I would have some sympathy but she is always out with her friends and making no attempt to pay the mortgage as agreed. I still pay her phone and towards her new furniture, she was supposed to have taken that on too but has conveninetly not bothered.
If both houses sold we would probably have similar equity, so should be straight forward split. We have about 18k added on to old mortgage as a home improvement loan and 6k on a credit card for a family holiday last year, and some smaller shared debt also (accounts that I put money in that she took overdrawn).
Yes I am a mug......now could anyone please suggest a sensible way forward? It looks like the only thing I can do is get a Consent Order as soon as possible to stop my bank account draining any further....think I am holding out that we may be reconciled but deep down know I am kidding myself.
Write to her explaining your situation, stop paying the mortgage, if you feel it is reasonable pay a maintence (think about that as if you do and it isn''t sensible you could be landed with regular maintenence - or worse life time maintenence if/should it get to court), pay a separate maintenence for your children, and Petition for divorce.
The deposit is a marital asset and she agreed to move in. She should not have done that if she didn''t believe she could afford it. You have a deed of trust regarding the equity in your old family home I hope you have something in writing about the basis of her moving into the new property.
If you do not maybe consider getting to court to get a declaration of trust regarding the purchase - it hardly seems reasonable bearing in mind you come across as financially astute and responsible that you would buy a house, get a second mortgage for housing for your wife and your children (not being rented out as a second home and a source of income) that you would have agreed to the purchase on any other grounds.
My concern is that if I cancel the DD to pay the mortgage we will default and have bad credit recorded against me (us!)...
Similarly with the furniture payments, I would love to just cancel these both but bad credit concerns me especially as I may have to get yet another mortgage when I move out of this place.
It is highly unlikely she will be able to afford new mortgage or that the mortgage provider would put it in her name, she assures me she has her maths right but they still wouldnt/couldnt do it and she forgets her expensive shopping and socialising habits in the calculations!
The new house is also joint ownership, think i should get changed to the other option whereby my share would go to the kids on my demise, really dont feel I owe her anything in that regard. Other than normal joint ownership, nothing in writing as was supposed to just be for a while, I have stayed over there but never moved my stuff in. Was thinking of just moving in! I am, after all the only one paying the mortgage! Might be a bit awkward for a while and she will probably see it as having a full time babysitter!
You really need to tie up the finances once and for all. You are both liable to pay the full amount of mortgage and there is no point in not paying if that means your wife could successfully claim spouse maintenance.
I''m concerned when you say you both have similar equity. there is no law in England & Wales that assets are shared mathematically 50:50, or at least it''s an oversimplification of the law. Equality in divorce settlements means leaving both parties on a similar footing. For example, if a spouse earns more they can raise a larger mortgage and would "need" less equity to leave them on a similar footing to a lower income spouse.
Because of the similar equity, we would both end up with a house and car each, just take on the mortgage and bills associated with each house, I think I just need a solicitor to draft Consent Order and if we both agree then should be straight forward? Is it possible to do this without divorcing? Just legally seperating finances?
I will pay child maintenance which I think she thinks should reflect her need to pay the mortgage (4 bedrooms for her and 2 children, think she should have gone slightly smaller, but hey ho, was supposed to be a family home at the time), not what the kids need.
Would the court take into account that all my wages over the past years paid the mortgage and bills while her wages were kept to herself? And that I paid the deposit and fees on new house and am therefore significantly down on the ''joint'' deal?
Still new to this,am I wrong in thinking that the only answer is to get divorced as quickly as possible? Am I at risk of her getting any court orders that could affect me that I should be aware of? Like ordering me to pay the mortgage? Sorry about all the questions....
It would defeinately make sense to sever the joint tennancy on the second house and make yourselves tennents in common so that on your demise the house wouldn''t automatically go to your wife or ex wife - especially as you have a declaration of trust regarding the equity in the original home.
I understand totally about not wanting to get bad credit so I think you have going to have to be careful not to get it.
It would be useful if you could post up your financials, ages, length of marriage, respective earnings, assets held in whose names, the details of the mortgages and confirmation of recent deposit, the amount outstanding on loans and what they were for and when they will finish, any pensions held in any name, and other savings such as life assurance, the amount you are paying out.
I think it is very important that you do not delay there is potential as you have seen and Fiona has pointed out for you to get into a lot of financial difficulty.