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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

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How can I leave? Situation needs to change

  • lostandonthesofa
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13 Aug 12 #349236 by lostandonthesofa
Topic started by lostandonthesofa
Hi sorry if this is covered somewhere else, but I am being told not to leave.. but I have to.. My quality of life is deteriating and if I don''t get a nights sleep, and time away from being continually moaned at I don''t know what I will do...

I own a house, its worth around 125k to 130k, I owe £135k.. Its in my name only, purchsed prior to marrige etc.. She had her own property at that time. (She sold it and kept the money, I have no idea if any is left....)

I pay 100% of the bills, with the exception of the TV licence.. I think, I may also pay this...

Morgage is £900 as I over pay to provide a better life long term, actauly contractual is £750, maybe £760.

We have 2 children, my wife has decided she wants to be single. I sleep down staris have a baby monitor, and sleep in a airbed.

How can I leave, can I leave and setup a new home fo rme and my children and stop paying?

She refuses to leave, and also refuses to talk to the benefits office etc.. she expects me to pay all the bills, put petrol in her can and keep her happy, as if I dont she will take the children away.

She cannot afford the morgage, as she only works part time, she cant afford the bills or the council tax, even with CSA payments.. shes already streached and with £420 pm from me for the children, the morgage isnt even paid.

Everyone has told me not to leave, but mentally I am being streached further than I should, its hurting alot.. how can I leave?

Can I sell the house? Can I leave and stop paying for it.

Help me please what can I do, I don''t want to be their, I dont honestly want to be alive.. but I have to try and move on right now I am trapped in a relationship with someone who is happy with the situation and has the best position. Live in baby sitter and wallet...

Sorry

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13 Aug 12 #349241 by cookie2
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How much do you and your wife earn?
How old are the children?
Do you have any other assets such as savings, shares, pensions etc?
Any debts such as credit cards, loans?

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13 Aug 12 #349242 by lostandonthesofa
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I have no savings at all, a 7k credit card, I am happily paying off.. I had more but I have over the last 9 months sorted all my debts out and left with this one...

I earn about 40k, she 16k (I think she would never tell me) part time btw.

I have a pension she has none, we been married 3 years, I had my pension since I was 18.

She has loads of store cards, and at least 1 credit card. Also owes 5k on her car which she borrowed from my parents and I am payng.

No other assets...

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13 Aug 12 #349243 by cookie2
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Sorry more questions.
How old are the kids?
How much is your pension worth (CETV)?
Did you cohabit before marriage, if so for how long?

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13 Aug 12 #349244 by lostandonthesofa
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Children are 1.5 and 3.5

I have no idea what its worth say 30k..

Nearly 2 years of cohabitation... :)

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13 Aug 12 #349247 by cookie2
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Right, sorry to say dude, you''re pretty humped.

I think there is no point or advantage in the usual "do not move out" advice, your wife is going to get the house whatever you do. There is no money in it anyway. More than likely you will keep your debts and your wife will keep hers.

So that is the assets split, now there is the matter of maintenance. As the main breadwinner of the family you will very likely be paying child maintenance and spousal maintenance. Your wife should be maximizing her income, she cannot be expected to increase her hours with 2 young kids, but it does mean applying for any benefits she is entitled to. It is hard to know what is a good outcome without knowing her benefits entitlement, but I''m afraid it is likely that you will end up paying child support and a good portion of the mortgage for the forseeable future.

But in the short term, no reason not to move out. You should probably keep paying the mortgage until there is a financial settlement. Stop over-paying, and stop paying for her petrol or other stuff. She has an income - even though it''s a lot lower than yours - make her use it!

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13 Aug 12 #349251 by happyagain
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If you have to leave then thete''s no way you will be covering her bills. I''m sorry she has refused to compromise and you find yourself in this situation but if she doesn''t want to contact the benefits office, that''s her problem.
I would suggest reducing mortgage to the set level for now and telling her you will pay half of this for x months. There will be nothing else except cm, no bills, no petrol, etc. if you don''t set a time limit on the mortgage then she will always expect it.
If you have to get out, apply ASAP for Ancillary Relief.

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