buying husband out - questions!

Hi I was wondering if someone could help here.

We have been separated for coming up to 2 years and both want to get things (Divorce, finances etc) sorted.
We have 2 children 2 and 5 (boy and girl). I have stayed in the family home (3 bedroom terrace) and its adequate for our needs - no more no less
What I am trying to establish is how much I would have to give him to buy him out and whether a few factors affect the amount I would have to find. I have no money of my own to do this so I would be borrowing the money from a family member and paying it back at a later date.
I think we are nearing the stage where we are either going to talk or go to mediation and I am just trying to establish what my opening suggestions should be.

I have spoken with a solicitor and I was advised that given the children''s ages and our needs - my best case scenario would be to end up with 80% of the equity if we were to sell - so I assume the same amount applies If I were to buy him out.

I was wondering if these factors would affect the figure that I can negotiate

- He stopped paying his half of the mortgage in Jan of this year so I have been covering 100% since then. It''s interest only so no equity is being paid off but he''s not contributing towards that either. Does this affect anything in terms of what he is entitled to ?

- When we remortgaged he requested if he could borrow an extra 15k on top of the mortgage amount to pay off his credit card bill. (he offered to pay the extra that this added onto the monthly payment but hasn''t) and I agreed. If I buy him out the I would want to take 15k off the amount that we agreed - and then I suppose work out some sort of figure to also account for the interest that the extra 15k will incur for me till the mortgage is paid off. Is this reasonable to expect to pay him 15KL less ? I know I would need this drawn up as all I have at the moment is an email from him but he would not try and dispute the fact that it happened.

-When we bought our previous property (prior to getting married) . We put down a 20k deposit - all of this came from either me or my family and not from him. I spoke to a solicitor who says that marital law over rides this however. Does this mean I would not be able to bring it up in any way when negotiating an amount that I have to give him ?

- I had saved up 2k in an ISA in his name ( as I had one in mine) when we were married for our daughter''s future. He asked me if he could use it for a deposit for a flat . I said yes as long as he paid it back. I trust that he will eventually but there has been no mention of it.

My solicitor thinks I should start the negotiations with me claiming that I want 100% of the house. I don''t think he would agree to this and despite everything he has done I don''t necessarily think its fair - and don;t want him to end up with nothing but equally this is going to be my debt, I have responsibility for the children and no money of my own so I want the agreement that we come to to be fair - and ideally not ending up giving him way more than I can afford so I was just wondering if any of these factors could help me negotiate downwards.

I really appreciate any thoughts on this - thanks!

Bare in mind, that the solisitor is advising you what a judge will take into consideration of this goes to court, there really isn''t any rights or wrongs in mediation, as to what you and your partner feel are important and worth considering.

just a couple of things to bare in mind - think about the costs of buying and selling, if you were to sell and split equity this would be after the costs of selling (estate agent fees, solisitors costs) so the equity you are talking about might be less than you think (if you are just doing cost of house - mortgage).
I would definitely want to see the 15k taken off the equity due to be split, however you might have to accepting the additional interest burden might be something you end up agreeing to accept in order to avoid going to court over it.

Also, think about how you are going to decide on what the value of your house is. You could have different ideas that puts you several grand out in your negotiations.

Finally, just a suggests - but why not suggest he gradually pays the £2000 into a Junior isa / child trust fund if she has one for your daughter? That what he can see for himself that his money is going to her not to you.

Thanks very much Elphie.I appreciate your response and yes it gives me something to think about.Yes we would both want to avoid the courts at all costs so I hope we can agree on something.


I don''t suppose you would happen to know if his no longer paying his share of the mortgage affects things would you?

Yes I think the ISA in my daughters name where he can pay in directly is a great idea.Thanks.

Am I right in thinking he has moved out? He wouldn''t be expected to continue paying the mortgage by a judge, in that case. Tbh, I kinda feel that he should, especially when it is a capital and interest mortgage and he will be getting some of that equity. But the more popular opinion on here is if one person has moved out then they shouldn''t continue to pay the mortgage and I''m sure that''s the official view as well, so it won''t affect how much equity he gets.