Need advice on this please ...

Ok,

My wife is to divorce me after 23 years. We have a house and two kids, 13 and 16. The house is currently worth about £400,000. If we were to sell it, she would perhaps push for a 60-40 split as the kids will live with her. But she does not want to do that as she wants to keep the kids in the home they know and she can get a mortgage for the house to essentially take it over. I do not want to move the kids and this is a good option and we both are not out to rob each other or to fight. We want to sort it all out amicably if we can.

She proposes this. She gets a new mortgage for the house and it goes under her name. She will pay the mortgage and I can therefore try to save up the money required for me to move out and rent a two bed flat (furnished) not too far away. She has said that I can stay as long as it takes for me to get the funds required to sort out our debts and raise the funds I''ll need (deposit for the flat and the first months rent and so on). Then in five years time when my youngest has finished his school education, the house will be sold and I will receive my 50% share of the funds. By the time this happens, the mortgage will have been reduced and it should be easier. Since I am to be an active part in helping to look after the kids when she is at work (we work shifts so I will still be involved)I''m gonna try to rent a flat big enough to have the kids or I will still have access to the marital house for childcare purposes until this is no longer needed. This to be all enshrined in a legal agreement set up by a Solicitor. I believe it is called a mesher agreement.

My wife says she just wants to move on and is not out to fight me or strip me for my pension or everything. I am 59 and have a pension that I''m drawing and I am working still but at a new job with that pension fund in place too. We agree that I will pay £600 a month child maintenance.

My question is, does this sound ok to you? Could this agreement be challenged or annulled in any way? I believe her in what she says but I do not want the wool pulled over my eyes. If we fight or have to use Solictors to find agreement, it will get very costly and we neither of us have the funds or the inclination.

Separating this way seems the easist, certainly without disrupting the kids. I would value any comments by anyone who has done this or who is well informed enough to see any dangers for me or warning signs I need to be aware of.

Thanks for your time,

Regards,

L

I cannot quote if this is fair or not,although it seems fair to me.You both need to house the children,so you will need enough room at your place also,and good that you can live together amicably until you have saved enough.
There is something I am just a little uneasy with though...
We can all bear witness to the massive change in our Ex''s,and what they say at the beginning soon changes,so whatever you decide to do,has to be so legally tied up,she cannot undo it..
The same applies to you also...

There could potentially be new partners for both of you,and that could put pressure on this financial relationship,so just a thought...

I commend you both though for discussing this through beforehand,and what you have agreed Will carry through with your Consent Order,and I am sure that the judge will also welcome an amicable one...

Hopefully a wise wiki will be along to answer you though...

Stay strong
Cwtchs
Afon x

I am afraid it is not possible to comment on the fairness or otherwise of this proposal without more information.

The settlement is based on respective needs and means. Need is need for housing (including children) and income now and in the future.

We would need to know:

Ages
Incomes inc any benefits
Length of marriage inc cohabitation
Children ages and arrangements
Value of FMH
Outstanding mortgage
Size of fmh
Pensions
Other assets in sole or joint names (savings, endowments etc)
Liabilities in sole or joint names e.g. Loans, debts etc

I know you have given some of this information but it would be helpful to have it in this order.

Incidentally you mention your pension not being touched. It would be usual for the pension to be included in the assets pot. You would each receive a share of the joint pension pot or would trade off pension against cash assets.

Hadenoughnow

Hello there,
Ok here goes ...

Age - She 50; Me 59.
Income - £28,000 Gross (£21000 Net) PA for me; (we get child benefit, not sure of the amounts). she gets around the same.

We have lived together since 1990 and we married in 1992 so 25 years together, 23 married)

Children are a girl, 16 and a boy 12 and a half. Not sure what you mean by arrangements.

House is valued at £400,000 conservatively.

Mortgage outstanding is £131,000 (includes a £4000 penalty if we were to pay off before 5 years have elapsed), just short of 10 years to go.

House is a Four-bed detached in a village.

I currently receive a pension of £820 per month after tax (at 20% basic rate) after retiring early (at 50) from my 27 years previous employment.

We have no savings or endowments or other assets.

She has a loan agreement on her car; I have a credit card with £1000 on it and I have a £900 overdraft at my bank account. We have a £1400 overdraft at our joint account. She has a credit card with about £1500 on it. We have no other debts outstanding. Like most people, we go into the overdraft every month but we are holding our own and our credit is good.

We have agreed that we will not touch each others pensions. With my pension, I take home about £2600 per month and I will need this if I am to pay Child Maintenance of around £600 each month and fork out for a place to rent which will cost anywhere from £800-£1200 a month. She has been granted provisionally a mortgage to take on the house and it will then be in her name. She has said I can stay as long as it takes for me to get sorted. Bit worried about remortgaging the house in her name but if its all sorted legally then I guess it should be ok.

Hope this helps.

My real issue here is that I know things change and its likely she will meet someone and life goes on. My worry is that whatever legal settlement we manage to sort out with a Solictor, could possibly be challenged or changed. Or could it? I''m not certain and I don''t want the wool pulled over my eyes, despite the fact that she is not out to bankrupt me. Just want to know if the idea is sound and what to look out for.

Thanks for your kind assistance.

Regards,

L

Child arrangements mean how often are children going to stay with you.

Its sounds like your suggesting a "mesher" order, which courts only like to use if its the only way the children can be rehomed. At present your stbx is overhoused (more bedrooms than her and the children need) and there is a lot of equity in the property.

How much would a suitable 3 bed property cost logally. How large a mortgage could your stbx realistically achieve?

If the house was sold you might also would be able to rehome yourself rather than rent long term providing you with more security.

If you did decide to go for a mesher, I would suggest you include co habition as a trigger point as well as the standard youngest completing first degree, remarriage and death.

Does your stbx have a pension?

ps Make sure you remain in the family home until all aspects of divorce have been sorted. It may well be amiciable at present, but many have found that this changes once they leave FMH.