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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Single Mother - Am I being legally sideswept?

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28 Nov 21 #518209 by WYSPECIAL
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rainbowsknow post=518207 wrote: Theres a court date in 2 weeks and the letter says I need to have submitted the signed Consent Order/statement of information etc BY this date.
Im not sure if I can request an extension to sign the Consent Order via his solicitors or to write to the court?

Write to his solicitor stating that you are not going to sign it as you don't think it is fair or makes adequate provision for the housing of two children.

If you can't come to an agreement then ultimately the court will decide. But the priority of the court will be housing the children.

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29 Nov 21 #518210 by rainbowsknow
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What could be deemed an acceptable shift of agreement on his part?
His solicitor is pushing for a 'Clean Break' ASAP (presumably) because my exHusband cant get another mortgage with his new woman, yet they are both on good money, and do currently have a house (albeit rented)...
(She cheated on her partner with my husband so she may have money from her old house also..)

I dont seem to be hearing or reading about many instances of men in similar financial situation attempting to force their exWives/young children out of their homes, esp when the exWife is paying every penny towards it. So im not sure what the realistic outcome is in the eyes of a judge? (My solicitor wasnt very supportive.)
Would it be as clear cut as, let us remain in the home for longer, then retain all profit still...I just want a little more time, but I want to retain this full equity offer and that may make me appear greedy...

So thats what im scared a judge will say: You've been offered all the equity, go get a house, go back to work full time...regardless of the stress on me and the kids.
My employer currently refused me full time because of their duty of care and they can see im obviously struggling with working part time.

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01 Dec 21 #518220 by mirage63
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So he wants you to sell the property and give you the proceeds of sale after discharging the mortgage so he will be free to buy another property with his new partner. Currently he is unable to do this as he's on your current mortgage.

Your children are still very young and it seems unfair that he cannot wait a few more years for you to be given the chance to either buy him out or sell.

I would be asking for more time before forcing a sale at least. As you say, your employer won't give you extra hours at this point in time but would possibly consider it when the children reach school age?

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01 Dec 21 #518221 by mirage63
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I have a further question. Is the £270,000 the value of the home or the equity?

You also have a 5 year fixed mortgage, how many years have you left? As it has early redemption costs I wonder if you could ask to remain in the home until that finishes and then you could try to remortgage again in your sole name, when you are possibly able to increase your hours.

Is it possible he could make a contribution to the costs of a new mortgage from any savings he's accumulated since living with the gf if you agree to sell?

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02 Dec 21 #518232 by rainbowsknow
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Yeah exactly, it does seem unfair that he cannot understand that selling the childrens home at this time, isnt good for us (Vs him just getting a mortgage instead of renting) Bare in mind he wanted us out 'now' and he started the Financial order a year ago.

As I was being forced to free him of his name on the mortgage 'asap' I suggested the timeline of 'in a years time' to reach an agreement with his solicitor < as this would see my children just starting school.
This is why I am now worrying that starting school THEN selling their home isnt good for them mentally (nor me) as theres too much change etc.

Hes been gone 3yrs now. (The first year he still visited us and I hoped we would get back together so there was never any worry re the house as he said I could keep it) So in a years time we are also nearer to the 5yr fixed mortgage ceasing/becoming variable.

£270k was the value of the home. The deposit we put down was £35k.

I wouldnt know if he's saved anything since he's left. He was earning thousands in overtime, but he's probably used that toward his legal fees. My solicitor had a number of discrepencies looking at his form E as he haddnt disclosed everything though.

Ive heard nothing from his solicitor now and there is only next week to prepare and sign a Consent Order. Im assuming this is a tactic to leave it to the last minute 'again'.

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03 Dec 21 #518253 by mirage63
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You don't have to sign if you're not happy with the terms although they might push it on the grounds that you have enough to buy a 3 bed. I hope they have allowed for selling costs and buying costs, stamp duty etc.

Personally i'd be claiming that you put £35000 deposit into the current property due to your parents loaning you £25000 which allowed you to improve your previous property and they need repaying. That would need to be deducted from the available equity making a sale a lot less practical.

Then your children are still very young, are settled in their home, you are paying all bills and mortgage would like to purchase the property in a more suitable time scale than a year. He is currently housed with his gf so his housing needs are covered.

The reason I mentioned savings is if he wants to be released from the mortgage he might need to offer you extra as an incentive, in order to enable you to buy a 3 bed in your current area.If he's that desperate then he might offer you more.

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07 Dec 21 - 07 Dec 21 #518299 by rainbowsknow
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The pension agreement is far over my head, so much so I cant even think about it, his solicitor says its in my favour. (Its 22%?)

I went through CMS to gain CM which he now pays.

His solicitor deducted the CM from my xHs annual income to insinuate his income is less than mine...
Whilst his solicitor added CM, CB, and my Child related Benefits onto my income to state I had a higher income therefore was better off.
Completely dismaying the fact my income is split for x3 people(!) and all these benefits will end for me when the children are of age and all I will be left with is my sole wage. (Plus my xH has the benefit of his affair partners joint income etc which is both more than I earn full time.)

All I want is a few months added onto this agreement,its so frustrating as I think that is fair.
I will try to sell the house but im worried if I cant in time (which is a very realistic probability because of the timing) my xH will take over the joint sale and try sell it for much less - as he just wants it sold asap and wont be benefitting from the sale proceeds! So I will loose a lot of money that otherwise is in my pot in this Consent Order.

I feel like my solicitor really screwed me over, insinuating that mothers/children arent prioratised and that its a big house so a court would assume I can re-house us to a smaller property.
No one else seems to be backing this viewpoint.

Do you think the judge will refuse this Consent Order - ie would they be able to visualise the timeline problems im facing with the children?

Also, as it is a Without prejudice offer - that means the judge wont even see this if it goes to court am I right?

Im really running out of time :/
Last edit: 07 Dec 21 by rainbowsknow.

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