Husband left a year ago after 22 years. I remain in family home with 3 children - eldest 18.
He has said I can keep house if he gets cash (all our shares and peps, isas and endowments) - split would be approx 67 -33 in my favour. He said I can keep car and house contents. He wants kids max of 20 days per year plus every other weekend as long as they want to see him. He earns 4 times me and has said he will pay 800 per month for kids and dog.
I am not sure how long he will pay this for (18 year old dropping out of college and says he will stay with me for next year till he decides if he want to go back to college). I am not sure what his obligation is.
I am also a bit worried that he could agree all this and then change his mind and have it over ruled. He is granting this on the basis I bring kids up in this home. Once legally agreed I may decide to sell and at that stage he may explode.
Re the separation he has told me he has a lawyer who will do this for 560 + vat.
It has been messy (he''s with woman from work), my daughters are heartbroken and my son refuses to see him and despite all I wish him home.
Communication has died because of other woman and fact I cannot deal with him and her.
I need to move on and secure finances. If he come back he comes back but I suspect if I don''t secure offer now I will end up getting far less.
I did see a highly recommended lawyer who said I was to get him to agree as much as possible then he would act for me and charge me as little as he could. I liked him and feel I should be taking control but part of me is panicked that my husband will retaliate when presented with a legal letter.
Any advise welcome. I am trying to put the emotion to one side but I am still in a very dark place and this next step is so final.
My sister said I should go for divorce as then he would definitely not be able to change agreement but she lives in England where it is different. I am not ready to take the Divorce step unless I really have to,
Family law is different in Scotland. A divorce isn''t normally granted until the finances have been resolved and arrangements for children under 16 are in place. The finances are resolved by means of a Separation Agreement, which is a legally binding contract in Scotland that isn''t easily changed, or an order of the court.
The aim of a Separation Agreement is finality and it is difficult to change the terms relating to the sharing of assets. Ailment and periodic allowances (maintenance) may be varied.
The value of assets (including pensions, savings investments) accrued in joint or sole names between the dates of marriage and separation form the matrimonial property to share. This is shared fairly, usually 50:50. Why does your husband think they should be shared in his favour?
In Scotland there is a general duty for all parents to financially support their children in education or training until they are 25 years of age. There is no obligation to support over 18s not in education.
The CSA normally has jurisdiction for child maintenance for children up to the age of 19 in full time non advanced education. Non advanced means Advanced higher standard or below. Instead child maintenance can be *agreed* in a Separation Agreement but after one year either party may apply to the CSA and the separation agreement would cease to have any effect with regard to CM.
Currently the CSA rates are 15/20/25% for 1/2/3+ children respectively minus deductions for overnights.
If your ex engages a solicitor they will be acting for him and you need your own independent solicitor to look after your interests.