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Our Grandsons

  • concernedgrandmother
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26 Jan 08 #11954 by concernedgrandmother
Topic started by concernedgrandmother
Our daughter and her husband seperated 1 year ago. Since then there has been an enormous amount of animousity from her husband. He has accused her of various acts - none of which have been prooved. He snatched the children, by default, 8 months ago, and there is an ongoing legal case. Our daughter is represented by legal aid. He has managed to obtain care & control of a 2 and 3 year old. He lives in a one bedroom home, he lost his leg in a motorcycle accident 3 years ago, he cannot read or write and was a major coke dealer. He is also from a wealthy and locally influential family.
Although there have been accusations against her, her motherhood , and the fact that she is a fantastic mother have never been in question.

But the latest problem which occured today is... Her husband wants to divorce her and has said that papers will arrive today. We feel, as interested and involved grandparents, that this is another ploy of his. His father, on Christmas Eve, murdered his wife and then committed suicide. Our son-in-law then became wealthy and now wants a quickie divorce to stop our daughter being entiled to any financial settlement. What can we do?

Please can you help?

Grandmother Gx

  • 80SGIRLWOKEUP's Avatar
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26 Jan 08 #11957 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
Reply from 80SGIRLWOKEUP
you say your daughter is getting legal aid, so I take it she can speak to a solicitor about a divorce.
I wouldnt panic the divorce process is quite long and drawn out, but your daughter should speak to her solicitor about children and quickie divorce.

I appreciate you are very concerned about your grandchildren, do you see them what access does your daughter have.

You may just be feeling under attack and worried at the moment as things are very turbulent!! take a deep breath and keep supporting your daughter
Good LUck

  • dukey
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26 Jan 08 #11958 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hi he cant get a quicky divore without your daughters agreament so dont panic divorce by desertion takes two years by ageament and five without hes most lightly to go for unreasnobale behavior and your daughter can stall all the way even if she agread it would take months also if he has his parents money its to late in English law your daughter gets 50% and maintenance when she gets her kids back the money part will be decided by the court after the divorce if no agreament can be made you will have 14 days to reply to his petition then six weeks and one day before the case will be considered the courts main interest is the welfare of the children you must do your best to disprove the accusations agaist your daughter speak to the cab they will help you rest assured i hope you have your grandchildren home soon.

  • Fiona
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26 Jan 08 #11979 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Leaving aside residency/contact at the moment as that doesn't appear to be the problem we are asked to address, the answer as to what can be done depends on where you are in the UK.

In England&Wales the finances and divorce are treated separately. The divorce doesn't affect the finances and in fact the financial settlement can't be addressed by the courts until after the divorce application. Any inheritance or potential inheritance is relevant and has to be disclosed, but won't necessarily be treated as other assets. The sharing of assets depends on the overall picture and the idea is to leave both parties on a similar financial footing, although not necessarily an equal 50:50.

Just to clarify the terminology, the court needs to be satisfied that one of five 'facts' has caused the marriage to break down irretrievably.

(a) adultery
(b) unreasonable behaviour ie the respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent
(c) desertion (abandonment) for a continuous period of at least two years - seldom used
(d) 2 years separation with consent of both parties to divorce
(e) 5 years separation

When the marriage has truly broken down there is no point in delaying divorce. People use unreasonable behaviour to progress to an undefended divorce and then concentrate their energies on resolving the finances.

In Scotland the finances are resolved before the courts can give a divorce decree. UB and adultery must be proven and most(88% in 2006) divorces are after 1 year's separation with consent or 2 years without consent. Desertion is no longer in use. The simplified divorce (DIY) procedure can only be used when there is consent, there are no children under 16 and all finances are resolved. Inheritances are not considered a matrimonial asset.

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