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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


breaking a court order

  • kor1
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07 Apr 12 #322266 by kor1
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me and my ex husband had a Consent Order which stated he would pay for my daughters private education and the fact the business that was run by both of us was failing, and it was stamped under duress my the court and i have found out he is running a successfull business and he has got a 100% grant against her school fees which means he doesnt pay also he stated he would pay my tax liabilty and found out it had been written off and he had lied on my forms for self assessment to inland revenue? is there anything i can do?

  • soulruler
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08 Apr 12 #322293 by soulruler
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I wonder what the point of attempting to do anything is because your daughter is being maintained at the school and your tax liability is written off so you are not liable for it.

Perhaps it is better to move on as you can spend a lifetime feeling cheated when it would appear at the moment you are no worse off than you would have been had these things "not" happened - in fact they haven''t happened - the status quo that you imagined has been maintained just in a different way than you originally expected.

Life is a strange thing sometimes and you have escaped hard times for the timebeing.

I would also state that no there is nothing you can do about it and also, I know that this is going to sound harsh, but as you ran the business together you should have been aware of what was happening and in that respect you cannot blame your husband for rescuing the situation.

The courts will just dismiss any attempt that you may make to go back to court with this and any solicitor will only take your money maybe to give you that advice or maybe if you are unlucky to spend their time and your money to prove that you have no chance.

Cut your losses and appreciate what you do have if you can.

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08 Apr 12 #322373 by kor1
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the issue i have with the school is that i should have signed forms as her mother and we were divorced and didnt... also he is getting a grant as says he cant afford to send her as he only earns basic money but its all dividends.thats my issue...i had figures submiteed that he needed multiple thousands to live per month...but then has a 100% charity grant now and the money that he quoted was to send her school came off of my settlement.

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08 Apr 12 #322377 by sillywoman
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Although i agree with soulruler, it does stink and is incredibly unfair.

I found out recently that my daughters'' father paid for his girlfriends wedding and yet he cancelled our 3 daughters'' mmobile phone contracts of £15 each per month and refuses to help the two oldest at university or the youngest via pocket money.

It is unfair and cruel,but it is what it is and sometimes we just have to suck it.

I look at it this way - our daughters would have a lot more if I took him back cos thats the only way they would get anything financially and emotionally from him, but I would rather live in a tent and eat my dogs'' poo than have him back, so its fine that he is spending his money on his girlfriend''s daughter, cos as sure as eggs is eggs, that is the only wedding he will be father of the bride at!

  • Emma8485
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08 Apr 12 #322379 by Emma8485
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Sillywoman thats incredibly unfair on your children, its awful that they see him spending money on his girlfriends children and then doesnt provide for them.

You sound like a brilliant mum fro providing for them, and I think your children should be proud of that

x

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08 Apr 12 #322400 by sillywoman
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Emma, my daughters found out about the wedding via facebook indirectly, so of course he doesnt know they know, if you see what I mean!!!!

My story is terribly long-winded but in a nutshell, my ex had numerous affairs and one night stands throughout our marriage (some continuing from before our marriage - booty calls, which obviously I didn''t know about or wouldnt have married him.

I put all the money iinto our marital home from my house when we got married in 1989,first afffair I found out about was via a disease after our first daughter was born in 1990 (lost her twin). The crash in the property market happened and all the money in the house was no longer there. I kicked him out but faced with the loss of the twin and no money in the house, coupled with his begging and pleading forgiveness meant I took him back. Stupid me??? Possibly, but then we had two more daughters, a few more affairs, coupled with violence and I was basically on the floor, low self-esteem, terribly overweight (was a blonde bombshell when I met him, lol) and he told me no one else would want me so like it or lump it.

I put up and shut up UNTIL THIS LAST TIME!!!!! Literally a shot of electric went through my head and I didn''t have him back. And that is what made it worse. He stayed with this last woman and is so bitter and angry with me. You see its all my fault!! According to him I shouldn''t have had it back the first time! According to him he would have been younger then and could have staarted a new life and had more kids.

Has seen two of our daughters a couple of times in the last nearly two years and has berated me on all occasions. Saw youngest last week for first time and he said I was stalking him with my boyfriend in a black mercedes!!! hahahah, I don''t have a boyfriend and know no one on earth who owns a black mercedes. Also I am sending girlfriend texts. I don''t have a phone anymore since I became unemployed over a year ago and anyway don''t know his or her phone numbers! The man has gone mad!

As regards the girlfriend and her daughter, they are so so so welcome to him. Our girls don''t care anymore and the youngest only saw him to see if he would give the promised prom money. He didn''t so really in her eyes it was a waste of a visit.

The oldest graduates this year and of course he wont be attending.

His loss, happy happy home here, even though skint!

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08 Apr 12 #322403 by soulruler
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Yey sillywoman way to go:silly:

We go through years of agony and self doubt, get pushed here and there and are stupid enough to go along (sort of victims in the same way of being in debt) and in the end it finishes and the result is just what you financially worried about in the first place and you end up wondering why you didn''t just go for peace and happiness year s ago.... oh well.

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