Soulruler - you are so right. And I used to think you "sillywoman"!
Not anymore. I wouldnt have had the two other girls,yes I may have had more children to another partner, but I am so so glad I have the girls. And I realise I am truly blessed. Because at the end of the day money truly means jack shit, zilch, nothing.
My ex has a full time salary and a pension and is only 51 but is so bitter and twisted about me not taking him back. The photos I was shown as him being father of the bride to his girlfriends daughter show him as looking very very gaunt and old. I almost feel sorry for him!
He was always obsessed with his looks, particularly loss of hair, and he has lost his hair now and the remainder is very grey. He is also no longer in a professions where women offer their bodies to him, so his opportunities to cheat are much smaller.
I have had to down size to a very small house with a wacking interest only mortgage and am unemployed, so money is really tight. But the laughter in this house is amazing, the fat that covered my body through depressive overeating is gone and life is good.
I think thats really inspirational and such an example to your kids.
My ex didnt have affairs but I was the high earner and I still was expected to be a Stepford wife. We broke up three times where I said I had had enough, and on the final occasion I meant it.
It honestly nearly killed me and the awful thing is that since we divorced the patterns have continued, in that when he has the kids, he sends back all their dirty washing, if they have parties during his weekends I still have to buy the presents, he still blames me now - reasons being?
Apparently if I had meant it the first time, then on the third time he would have taken me more seriously and would have tried harder. Go figure!
I am lucky I do earn enough to support the kids and give them treats and things, but dont get me wrong I worked really hard for that - 17 hour days very often, which has left me with permeanent insomnia, but my girls are worth it just like yours are.
He is now with someone who in my eyes is perfect for him, she does exactly what he wants and looks after him, but he isnt happy!