I''m sorry if that''s sent the heebie-jeebies down you but it had to be said!
TBH I very much doubt that, as you''ve always been the main carer, he''ll have much luck getting a 50/50 shared arrangement - at least not until he''s proved himself capable of looking after them on his own. Our situation was that I worked from a converted garage next to the house so was able to come in and do my share of nappy changing, feeds, etc, and as my ex was a heavy sleeper I did all the night feeds/changes - including lying the kids next to her to latch on while she slept on (I meant a very heavy sleeper! lol)
After separation I changed my working hours too - starting work after putting the kids to school, and finishing just before they get home, but I make up these hours (aye, and the rest!) during the week they''re not with me.
My sol reminded me very early on it''s not about what I do & don''t like, it''s about what''s best for the kids...something that has to be understood from the start.
Any pension & assets accrued during the marriage are half yours, although so are half the debts! My ex naively thought she''d get fully half the market value of the house, not taking into account the outstanding mortgage, the loan secured on it, or the fairly thumping credit card debt we''d accrued. Hence why she''s rather bitter at the finances not working out as well as she''d expected...
In addition, as the kids'' main carer & having given up your own career, he will almost certainly be required to make payments to you to ensure you have reasonable income, and there will probably child maintenance
payments as well until more equal shared custody arrangements are possible.
I will say that having shared custody works well for both my ex and I. She got herself a job driving taxis which gives her the flexibility she needs. I arrange regular nights out with friends for the weeks I don''t have the kids. Also, whoever doesn''t have the kids still gets to see them for an hour each day as they live close enough to walk between houses. To be honest, that hour is probably more time than the resident parent gets in the way of quality time, as they''re too busy helping with homework, cooking, playing taxi to all the kids'' clubs & social engagements, etc. Many of my married friends (mostly the mums!) say they''d kill to get their OH to run the house for a week so they could play at being ''single'' & ''kid free'' again! So don''t rule out shared care in the long term...it might give you a new lease of life.
As for what job you can do that works for shared custody, the obvious one would be to become self-employed too - do something you enjoy, but that you can have the flexible home life you need.
Hopefully that''s put your mind more at ease - I did warn you about the emotional roller-coaster lol!!