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Costs escalating

  • redwine47
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14 Jul 12 #343083 by redwine47
Topic started by redwine47
How do I stop my stbx running up legal costs? There is hardly a day goes by where I don''t receive either a letter or email from my solicitors usually to do with something my stbx has done or is querying. Stbx will not contact me about anything, even contact with children.

I m on legal aid & previously paid privately so know how quickly costs can escalate.

I queried with my solicitor about him running up unnecessary costs. Was told he was perfectly entitled to use his solicitor if he wishes. Also told cannot get legal aid bill /costs till end of the case.

Stbx paying privately & has wealthy family who are helping him with costs.

What is best way to keep these costs down?

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15 Jul 12 #343209 by redwine47
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Bump

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15 Jul 12 #343214 by fairylandtime
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Hi RW

There isn''t alot you can do, my x was on legal aid & I had to go private, I was answering all queries , having to chase him for answers, re children & finances etc.

Think he enjoyed it :(

I was already taking on all the debt, (mostly his) & just wanted to get things sorted for my kids & I, spent the first mediation all about kids then following up with sols letters etc. my sols cost a packet, but was very good & basically he said "you cannot force x to comply" so I dropped things.

Left the contact up to kids, & concentrated on divorce & finances. Still had to chase x, x pushed it as far as possible & had to take him to court myself (self rep) gulp for CSA & nearly for the taking him off the morg, Consent Order said 42 days for him to sign ... He took over 60! But I didn''t chase (nearly) just kept in touch with the convincing company who did the work under their bill & the court who (although didn''t advise) were really helpful in keeping me up to date & what step I should take next.

The advice I got from here really helped & Dukey was also a god send - thanks Dukey

But aside from that, nothing can done... Ignor the little things go for the big ones & get a good CO also ask for costs repaying when self-repping (I forgot!!! :S) these x''s were hard in marriage & they won''t make it easier for us to get away (even when they instigate it) it is all about control & I have found with my x best to ignor & go with the flow.

JJx

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15 Jul 12 #343231 by redwine47
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Flt.... Thanks. I think I will just concentrate on important issues. I suppose i thought I was required to reply to all correspondence in the event it was brought before court.

I wish I had the confidence to self rep but our situation is complicated (arnt they all). I may have to consider this as legal aid will stop soon.

Will we ever b free from these controlling ex''s?

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15 Jul 12 #343249 by sexysadie
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I am pretty sure that if you already have legal aid it won''t stop when the new rules come in.

Best wishes,
Sadie

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15 Jul 12 #343256 by fairylandtime
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RW

There was no confidence in self-repping just no cash to pay for sols @ £26/per 6 mins!

Hence I forgot to ask for the repayment of costs :(Having said this the judge was really nice (basically) it shouldn''t have got that far it was just x being stupid.

When we have kids I don''t think we will ever get away from our x''s as its a joint bond, I just wish that my x would be "nice" to the kids & do as he should then it wouldnt bother me as much.

But life goes on.

Stay strong JJx

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15 Jul 12 #343270 by wmorris2
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fairylandtime wrote:

When we have kids I don''t think we will ever get away from our x''s as its a joint bond


I am sure my ex could tell you how to break that bond. She did with me. Totally cut me out of the kids lives ( even changed their names) but because I was found by the court to be a monster it was all okay to override my legal say so and rights as if they were cutting out a tumour.

The fact I did nothing dosen''t seem to matter under the present bent laws we have in the "not so great britain"

For all the heartache she''s put me through I wish she had just got me to jizz into a tub.. After all there are 2 children walking around the UK with me in them but I will probably never know them again. And I wish that the 4 years I raised them didn''t happen.

Sounds cruel but I have had enough of the heart ache. For me until the day they come find me they no longer exist.

I''ve been through court every few months for 3 years and lost each time. Time to give up

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