Hi, really cant afford much legal help,, have spent £400 so far,, on getting few peoples advice,,, havent yet instructed Sol,, but husband is moving FAST,, and have rec''d "certificate of entitlement to a decree, 17th Aug,,
Our son,, is a little way off a diagnosis i believe, but shows Autistic traits, Adhd poss,, (will prob be diagnosed at 7),, and poss Attachment disorder. He will need certain therapy,, and different type of foods,,,
Has anyone been in the same... Would not be divorcing unless husband would sort out issues,,, ,,,, As extra needs child, only child,, me - lone parent,, puts whole diff layer on it,, XXX
The Collabortative process involves both parties entering into an agreement where they each agree to attend meetings to try to reach an agreement. It is not an inexpensive process.
Instructing a solicitor is expensive but you should avoid paying monies to non-legally qualified people which appears to be the case at present.
Your position is not unique and there are lots of people on this site that can guide you without you incurring further unnecessary cost.
The divorce process is separate to the financial process and it is fine for the divorce to complete then look at the finances. At that stage you can seek a fair settlement which reflects the additional needs of your son.
I may be wrong but I suspect that collaborative law is waning in popularity, and I suspect the main reason is that it is unlikely to work unless both parties are committed to the process.
The other problem is that the lawyers involved must agree to cease to act if agreement cannot be reached. This is because, during the course of a collaborative negotiation, one or both parties may disclose confidential information, which is fine if agreement can be reached, but damaging if the whole thing breaks down and you end up with a financial dispute in the Courts after all.
If your x2b is playing ducks and drakes, or threatening to do it, then I''d say that collaborative law will cost you quite a fair bit and may turn out more expensive, or worse, you get no result and have to go through the Courts after all.
You can''t stop your x2b going for a divorce like a bull at a gate. Usually, this is because they want to marry the OW.
This is understandable, I guess, but I see certain potential problems that could arise if your x2b is trying to divorce too quickly. All I''m going to say at the moment is that problems could arise if :
(a) the family home is in his name alone ; or
(b) there are potential problems if he has a pension and you want to claim against it
(c) the fact that you have the care of a disabled child is a factor which may work very much in your favour.
I''m not against collaborative law as such, but sometimes it''s over-egging the pudding.
I think I will leave it at that for the moment, but I suspect there are some steps which you may need to take sooner rather than later. They may not be expensive, but do need legal advice.