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Getting started with my divorce

  • Char2609
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7 years 4 months ago #395075 by Char2609
Replied by Char2609 on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
Thank you esox11.

I will supply them and have already asked for all his too. There is nothing to hide and if he really wants to go through 3 years and 4 accounts worth of a5 bank printouts to discover I told the truth then he is welcome to.

I just hope that he is telling me the truth about his motives for wanting them.

I drafted my first email response with lots of ranty come backs, slept on it (or tried to sleep anyway) then redrafted it in a nicely sanitised and practical version. It helped a little.

Just waiting to see what his response to that will be now.

Thankfully my new man has been wonderful and kept me sane this weekend. He is everything my ex is not and I''m so lucky to have such a kind and understanding person now in my life.

Hopefully both our stbxes will sort themselves out and stop making it worse than it has to be.

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  • esox11
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7 years 4 months ago #395077 by esox11
Replied by esox11 on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
Not holding my breath my end...

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  • Char2609
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7 years 4 months ago #395080 by Char2609
Replied by Char2609 on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
That''s such a shame. I do find the whole divorce process is harrowing even if on the surface you appear to have an ''easy'' or ''simple'' one. It takes so much out of you.

This whole experience is certainly colouring my view of whether I would ever get married again and I''ll certainly be taking a smarter approach to joint finances in the future.

On another note, it''s a childish measure but I have renamed him in my phone book to an offensive term. Makes me feel much better seeing that pop up rather than his name. Petty but effective....I may even get him his own ringtone to add to the package.

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7 years 4 months ago #395094 by esox11
Replied by esox11 on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
Now there is a fun game...
Pick a ring tone for the stbx!
Stand and deliver... Adam and the Ants, seems apt for mine!

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  • MrsMathsisfun
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7 years 4 months ago #395099 by MrsMathsisfun
Replied by MrsMathsisfun on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
My husband changed his picture of his ex to a wasp because every time she rang there seemed to be a sting in the tail. He had to changed it when the children noticed and asked why!!

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  • Char2609
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7 years 4 months ago #395138 by Char2609
Replied by Char2609 on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
Well it''s been a slightly better morning...not because he''s stopped being a pest, but because I''ve had my mind settled a little by the Wikivorce team.

Basically I wasn''t aware that I could just carry on with the divorce if he raised financial issues. He was threatening to contest the divorce because of these issues but I''ve learnt that he can''t actually do this. He can only contest if he thinks we haven''t broken down...given we''ve been apart for a year I''d say he''s onto a loser.

So the only thing he could do is delay the paperwork but as the financial issues are technically separate to the divorce this isn''t in his interests really.

If he wants to do the whole financial stamping of feet he can do so and pay out for a solicitor if he wants. The team have settled my mind about how our situation could be viewed by the court so I''m less worried about him pursuing this now.

Obviously I don''t want it to get to this point and I''m still keen to settle this with as minimal hassle as possible. I''ll do the trade off of the account statements as requested but if he doesn''t play ball after that then I''m going for it regardless.

MrsMathsisfun - shame it got spotted. Another good idea though for taking the edge of having to deal with them.

esox11 - Not sure what I''d pick for mine at the moment. However, there are some specialised ringtones available along the lines of ''[insert offensive term] is calling'' might go with one of those.

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  • Shezi
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7 years 4 months ago #395166 by Shezi
Replied by Shezi on topic Re:Getting started with my divorce
Welcome Char2609

I admire your persistence in reason. I''m also happy you spoke to the Wikivorce Team and feel reassured. I, too, had a fairly amicable (second) divorce which cost us a total of £700, split 50/50. It can be done - we had a few wobbles in between where my ex wanted this and that before we completed. Remaining smilingly calm no matter how hard your teeth are gritted is to be recommended.

Good luck

Shezi

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