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Unreasonable Behaviour - feedback on grounds?

  • han123
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7 years 2 months ago #403035 by han123
Hi, I had posted this in my previous thread but as the subject probably isn''t right trying it here.

I have drafted the following unreasonable behaviour grounds I would really appreciate it if anyone could have a look at them and let me know whether you think they would be sufficient? My feeling is that it''s way too long but I am not sure how to shorten it or if there is anything I could take out... Do I need to add specific dates for every point? (I can''t remember every single event so would be making them up if I had to). Are some of the dates too long ago and/or what if the dates are over 6 months ago?

UB - Grounds for Divorce:

The petitioner and respondent have no longer been living as a couple or shared a bedroom since August 2012, leading separate lives despite living under the same roof.

The respondent has not made enough effort to find or keep a stable job. For example, often when the respondent was not working, the petitioner would come home after work and find him watching TV lying on the sofa instead of using his time more wisely by applying for jobs. This leaves the petitioner feeling that she is shouldering the burden of keeping the household going, and also makes her feel it would be irresponsible to have kids and start a family with the respondent as she would be expected to bear the financial burden a family would bring by herself.

The respondent has recently resorted to smoking cannabis on a daily basis, even though this affects his ability to focus on tasks such as finding a job, as it makes him lose concentration and unable to focus. For example, the petitioner would often come home and find the respondent smoking cannabis, leading to the behaviour described in the previous point above. This makes the petitioner feel that the respondent does not care about finding or a job and contributing financially to the household.

The respondent has not made much effort to establish his own social life, pursue hobbies or make friends, instead resorting to staying at home most of the time. This has made the petitioner feel extremely responsible for the respondent’s happiness and has made her feel guilty for keeping up her own social life and pursuing her own hobbies, knowing the respondent would sit at home alone. The petitioner feels that as part of a married life it is important for each party to have their own social life as well as spending joint social life together and as such the petitioner has regularly included the respondent in her social activities; however the respondent was often not interested in joining, and the petitioner would almost never include the respondent in the already very limited social life he had.

Even though the petitioner strongly dislikes cigarette/cannabis smoke and has made this clear to the respondent, and even though it is not permitted by the landlord to smoke inside the flat, the respondent would usually refuse to smoke outside, instead always smoking in the kitchen or sometimes even the living room. Whenever this happened, it would make being in these areas of the flat intolerable for the petitioner , making her feel not at home in her own flat, and making her feel the respondent did not care about her wishes and well being.

Due to the respondent’s inability to hold down a job and support the household financially, lack of initiative to undertake social activities, and increased use of cannabis, the petitioner has felt more of a carer than a wife to the respondent and as a result felt increasingly unattracted to the respondent both physically and mentally. This has made it very difficult for the petitioner to engage in sexual intimacy with the respondent. As such, no sexual intimacy has happened between the petitioner and respondent since November 2012.

The petitioner has discussed the above issues with the respondent numerous times however no effort to improve was made by the respondent. The petitioner has made the respondent aware of her decision to start divorce proceedings in April 2013 and the respondent has moved to his own rented accommodation on the 2nd of June 2013.

The said marriage has broken down irretrievably and the Respondent has behaved in such a way that the Petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent.


Many thanks in advance for any feedback!

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  • rubytuesday
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7 years 2 months ago #403037 by rubytuesday
Replied by rubytuesday on topic Re:Unreasonable Behaviour - feedback on grounds?
Looks good, I would suggest that you include some specific examples of the behaviour with dates, and explain how these behaviours have made you feel emotionally.

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  • han123
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7 years 2 months ago #403038 by han123
Thanks! Will add some dates and how it made me feel. Is the length ok you think?

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  • rubytuesday
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7 years 2 months ago #403039 by rubytuesday
Replied by rubytuesday on topic Re:Unreasonable Behaviour - feedback on grounds?
Some of the paragraphs are a bit wordy, and where you have expanded on a behaviour, you are only really highlighting your differing expectations of marriage, maybe try to par it down a little?

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7 years 2 months ago #403040 by rubytuesday
Replied by rubytuesday on topic Re:Unreasonable Behaviour - feedback on grounds?
I would leave out these

" also makes her feel it would be irresponsible to have kids and start a family with the respondent as she would be expected to bear the financial burden a family would bring by herself." (para 1)


This doesn''t make sense, sorry:

"The respondent has not made much effort to establish his own social life, pursue hobbies or make friends, instead resorting to staying at home most of the time. This has made the petitioner feel extremely responsible for the respondent’s happiness and has made her feel guilty for keeping up her own social life and pursuing her own hobbies, knowing the respondent would sit at home alone. The petitioner feels that as part of a married life it is important for each party to have their own social life as well as spending joint social life together and as such the petitioner has regularly included the respondent in her social activities; however the respondent was often not interested in joining, and the petitioner would almost never include the respondent in the already very limited social life he had."


Perhaps rewrite as

The Respondent has recently showed no interest in establishing his own social life, and despite repeated requests from the Petitioner to join her in her social activities, the Respondent refused to participate.[include an example] This has made the petitioner feel extremely responsible for the respondent’s happiness and has made her feel guilty for keeping up her own social life and pursuing her own hobbies, knowing the respondent would sit at home alone.

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  • han123
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7 years 2 months ago #403043 by han123
Thanks a lot! Will take your suggestions and will try and shorten it on the weekend.
Much appreciated.

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  • .Charles
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7 years 2 months ago #403057 by .Charles
How about this rewrite? Add some dates as Ruby says and you should be set.

The petitioner and respondent have no longer been living as a couple or shared a bedroom since August 2012, leading separate lives despite living under the same roof.
The respondent does little to provide financial support and has made little effort to obtain employment. The lack of financial support has prevented the petitioner from pursuing her desire to have children.

The respondent smokes cannabis on a daily basis which makes him distant due to lack of concentration. This is also a drain on the matrimonial finances and the affect of the cannabis perpetuates the respondent’s failure to obtain employment. Despite the petitioner’s protestations, the respondent continues to smoke cannabis.

The respondent has no social life, hobbies or interests and has expressed no interest in joining the petitioner in her interests as would be expected. The lack of common interests has meant the parties have become distant.

The respondent’s failure to engage in all aspects of married life, the petitioner has been unable to engage intimiately with the respondent since November 2012. The petitioner has discussed the issue with the respondent but the respondent has made no effort to change.

Due to the unreasonable behaviour of the respondent, in April 2013 the Petitioner informed the respondent of her decision to commence divorce proceedings and vacated the former matrimonial home on 2nd June 2013 where she resides in rented accommodation.

The said marriage has broken down irretrievably and the Respondent has behaved in such a way that the Petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent.


Charles

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