I've been lurking on the forums for a while and I think this is a wonderful resource. Divorce is something few of us have personal experience of, and yet so many people here are happy to share theirs for the benefit of others when all they must want to do is move ahead and forget about what has happened. This community is wonderful and even though I have spent all my time in the shadows, i would just like to come out and say \"thanks.\"
I also have a question about a DIY petition I have recently put through:
I recently petitioned my ex2b for divorce, citing unreasonable behavoir. Although my reasons I feel are valid, I readily accept that we are both at fault for the marriage failing - however I made it clear to my ex2b that the reasons were cited to facilitate a divorce, not so we'd get hung up over the reasons themselves.
However now my extb has received the petition, she says she will be contesting the divorce. She agrees the marriage has broken down, but will not accept the instances of blame I have cited.
We have been living separate lives for over 20 months so I could have waited and we could have gone for the blameless 2 year option, but it wasn't an option for me because I am in a new relationship now and it hasn't at all been fair on my new partner; that I've been married for the entirety of our relationship - itself more than a year in.
Anyway, when I last spoke with my extb, she said she would agree to a two-year separation thing even though we've only been separated 20 months. This was something I hadn't considered before: Before I moved out I lived in the spare room, ate separately from her and the children and basically lived a full and separate life for almost a year before I left.
I was wondering if it would be possible for me to change my reasons on the D8 form, even though the petition has been served? If I can't I really do not want to withdraw the petition. But maybe I can withdraw it and put in another immediately citing the 2-year thing. If my extb can keep her pride, maybe we'll all be happier. But I'm concerned that I'd have to prove we lived separately in the same house before I actually left...?
What causes expense and drags out the divorce process is animosity of the parties fuelled by solicitors.
If there is any chance that you and your xtb can agree on important aspects of the divorce then I would suggest you go for it.
Living separate lives under the same roof counts towards separation and the proof you have to supply to the court would be your and your xtb's sworn statements that you both led separate lives for a time before you actually moved out, totalling at least 24 months.
Withdrawing the petition for unreasonable behaviour won't count against you.
I could be wrong but I don't think you'd get your money back. The court isn't set up to give refunds.
In your position I would ring up the court and ask whether I could amend the petition stating that the respondent is agreeing to the amendment and just simply ask them what the procedure is to amend it.
In case of an argument try explaining that you have paid the fees for a petition (not a petition for divorce for a specific reason) and a petition is what you are submitting. Perhaps there may be a fee for an amedment - the absolute costs £40 so if there is one it might be in the order of that.
LOl Planetoid, you got that post up as I was posting this. Good to know that the petition can be amended but £80 is twice the amount I thought it would be. It seems they know they have us by the short and curlies!