I have petitioned for divorce as agreed with the ex on a no blame two year seperation with concent. Both agreed to negotiate finances via email (I declined his offer to meet up for fear of manipulation)
I emailed saying I had, had the draft petition ready to send and he would receive it shortly. My email was friendly, polite and a little bit humorous to show I'm not bitter that he left me for someone else and when that failed chose to live with OW number two despite my begging to have him back, acceptance came when he moved in with the second girlfriend whom he met whilst still living with number one!
Ex's response to my friendly informative email was short but saying he hoped we could sort things out amicably ourselves to avoid the costs of solicitors.
Petition received, a few weeks later I sent him another email asking him to sign and return the petition, either agreeing or not to cover the cost of the divorce, he wants it not me so my view rightly or wrongly is he should pay for it, I have no need to be divorced but he does.
Response received from him saying he would sign the petition once the financial issues including the property have been agreed, and his solicitor would be in touch soon regarding a proposal to buy me out.
I responded saying, I thought we were going to negotiate that ourselves via email to avoid costs, his response was he thought it should be done properly because he doesn't think we will agree. I responded very briefly saying, that's okay by me but I won't be wasting money on solicitors letters going back and forth, I will respond directly and await the proposal from his solicitor, nor will I be checking the email address I specifically set up just to communicate with him.
Fast forward a few weeks and his people wrote to my people saying he would sign and return the petition if I agree to pay half of the divorce, agree to attend mediation and list everything belonging to him still in the property.
My solicitor has agreed to me using her as and when needed but she is happy for me to deal directly with his solicitor for correspondence.
My questions are I don't want to rush my responses but don't want to be obstructive either. I have to be in the right frame of mind to be emotionally able to cope with this, it's not what I wanted nor ever dreamt would happen after so long together so still struggle some days with it all.
How long between receiving correspondence from his solicitor is an acceptable time, and can I say I have received your email and I will respond in due course?
Ex is a real bitter person and plays the tit for tat game at every opportunity, if I agree, he doesn't want it anymore, always ready for a fight, pretty much how it was throughout our marriage.
I don't want to get this wrong and indicate to them any weakness.
Really could do with guidance from now on from you lovely people, emotions can get in the way and I can't trust myself.
Please if anyone can offer me strict rules to follow, I promise you I trust you guys implicitly, if you say it I will adhere to it.