Hi I am filing for divorce on the ground of unreasonable behavior but my wife won't sign.
I would like advice on the following wording as unsure if the court would accept the following:
The Marriage has irretrievably broken down.
1. From January 2018 till the end of the relationship, the petitioner has not enjoyed an intimate or loving relationship with the respondent. This has left the petitioner feeling unloved, extremely negatively towards himself and made him feel very much alone and emasculated.
2. On multiple occasions the respondent refused physical contact with the petitioner, indicating that the petitioner mouth is full of bacteria, leading to feelings of loneliness, rejection and desperation. The respondent believes that marriage is only about companionship but the petitioner is expecting more from a marriage.
3. The petitioner and the respondent have both moved on from the relationship both mentally and physically and have been sleeping separately since January 2018.
4. The petitioner feels unable to engage in discussions with the respondent without the respondent dragging up the past, which the petitioner has become increasingly resentful of and found it draining and completely unreasonable. The past issue relates to the petitioner not having disclosed to the respondent an affair he had well before the petitioner met the respondent.
5. The respondent has refused to communicate on any meaningful level regarding problems in our marriage in the last one year or so. For example, in August 2018 the respondent repeatedly refused my requests to attend counselling in attempt to save our marriage. Over the last six month, the respondent, after going to individual counselling, acknowledged that couple counselling will not save our marriage and it is best to move on in our separate ways.
6. The petitioner and respondent rarely enjoyed time together due to the irregular working hours of the respondent. The respondent also had to work some Saturdays and was volunteering for a couple of hours every Sunday.
The respondent was spending a lot of time watching series on her laptop whenever at home and going to bed late at night, sometimes at dawn. The petitioner was also not giving enough time to the respondent due to him being busy studying for his professional exams.
All of this made it more difficult for the petitioner and the respondent to spend time together and build on their relationship.
7. The petitioner feels that the respondent did not spend enough time looking after the house and contributing to weekly chores. While the respondent feels that the petitioner never appreciated the house work she was doing and always complaining, especially as she never used to do such house chores before marriage.
8. In January 2019, the petitioner's mother while trying to have a conversation with the respondent's family about our marriage problems abused the respondent. This created a big fight between both families. The relationship between both families has completely broken down and both families have not spoken to each other since. This has made things worse between the petitioner and the respondent.
9. For the last six months both the petitioner and the respondent suffered depression. This cause a very unstable relationship and both parties felt they could not rely on each other for support. This created a lot of tension and ill feeling towards one another.
10. The respondent acknowledged that she does not want to start a family with the petitioner due to problems in our marriage.
You've got a lot of examples there. I wouldn't use the ones that are about the petitioner as well. The purpose of the petition is to tell the court about how you, the petitioner, find the respondents behaviour unacceptable.
e.g. 3. The petitioner and the respondent have both moved on from the relationship both mentally and physically and have been sleeping separately since January 2018.
If you use this reword it to something like "The respondent refuses to sleep in the same bed as the petitioner. This makes the petitioner feel rejected and unloved.
Use less words for the other examples, 1 and 2 could be summed up as "The respondent refuses to have sex or intimacy with the petitioner. This makes the petitioner feel rejected, lonely and unloved"
It's a few bullet points to evidence that the marriage is over not a novel.
You really only need four or five examples of behaviour in the last six months.
If the Respondent refuses to sign and return the acknowledgement of service but you know (and can prove) it has been received, you can apply for something called deemed service. If necessary a process server may be used to ensure you can prove it has been received.
If this is necessary, you can use the fixed price services offered by this site.
I made some changes as recommended to my original message.
Can someone please have a look at the points mentioned below and let me know if they are sufficient.
1. The respondent refuses to have sex or intimacy with the petitioner. This makes the petitioner feel rejected, lonely and unloved.
2. The respondent has repeatedely admitted to the petitioner that she doesn't love him. The respondent and petitioner have been sleeping seperately for more than a year and living their own separate life.
3. The respondent acknowledges that she does not want to start a family with the petitioner. The petitioner feels misled, as before getting married, the respondent and petitioner agreed on building a family in the future.
4. The respondent has refused to communicate on any meaningful level regarding problems in her marriage. The respondent has refused the petitioner's several requests to attend marriage counselling. The petitioner feels that the respondent has no interest to save their marriage.
5. The petitioner feels unable to engage in discussions with the respondent without the respondent dragging up the past. The petitioner finds such behaviour of the respondent draining and completely unreasonable.
There is a "format" to writing Behaviour examples you will need to give:
• details of a course of conduct, or, particular incidents, including dates, but it should not be necessary to give more than about half a dozen examples of the more serious incidents, including the most recent. Evidence is not normally required.
You will need 5 or 6 differing examples of the Respondent’s unreasonable behaviour that occurred during the last six months of you having lived together as spouses. Where the behaviour has been ongoing for a bit longer than 6 months, wite "during the latter stages of the marriage". Each example must be separate and demonstrate a different behaviour. The most important factor is that you personally find whatever the behaviour is to be unreasonable and that you can''t not be expected to remain in the marriage.
Write each examples as follows:
A short description of behaviour, a dated specific example (these are missing from your draft) , and how this made you feel.
After you have drafted your examples, finish with this wording:
“The respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent.”
Unreasonable behaviour can be just about anything - from violent and abusive conduct to leaving the toilet seat up. The most commonly used examples are:
Lack of an intimate relationship
Lack of communication
Lack of a shared social life
Lack of emotional support
The Respondent engaging in a hobby that takes him./her away from the marriage too often
Working too much
and so on.
If you are finding it difficult to write the statement of case (which is understandable), then you could use the fixed price divorce Wiki offers, or book an hour with one of the Wikivorce Divorce Consultants who can assist you with the wording and completion of the petition.