A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Help with wording please: Unreasonable Behaviour

  • tryingtobeamicable
  • tryingtobeamicable's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
11 Nov 20 #514716 by tryingtobeamicable
Topic started by tryingtobeamicable
I would like some help and advice on the wording for unreasonable behaviour - is the below enough:

In January 2020 the respondent was found to be messaging one of his female customers about the problems in our relationship and he was asked to stop. The petitioner found this behaviour to be deeply upsetting and hurtful and that it was a betrayal of their marriage vows.

In October 2020, following some further marriage problems, the petitioner found the respondent to be texting the same women. These messages went on for a period of a few weeks and the messages and pictures the respondent received were of an explicit nature. At no point did the respondent ask this woman to stop. The petitioner found this behaviour to be incredibly hurtful and a complete betrayal of their marriage. At this point the petitioner asked the respondent for a divorce as they felt, along with the other issues they were having that the petitioner could no longer trust the respondent.

The Respondent doesn’t give general support to the Petitioner to manage the mental load of running a household. For example, the respondent doesn’t assist with making financial decisions and then blames the petitioner when things have gone wrong. The petitioner finds this to be incredibly stressful and unfair. An example of this is in November 2020 when the respondent did not have enough funds to pay for their share of the bills and the petitioner had to cover the costs, the respondents response was “ you didn’t tell me and show me what I needed to do” when in fact the petitioner had told the respondent on a number of occasions that they were close to their overdraft limit.

The respondent does not provide the necessary understanding and support required to help the petitioner manage their PTSD and anxiety. For example, when the petitioner requested that the respondent give the petitioner some space and temporarily move out of the family home, the respondent refused meaning the petitioner and their small child had to leave the family home which caused them both great distress and upset. In addition, the respondent requires intimacy and makes approaches and innuendos on a regular basis and the petitioner (owing to their PTSD) struggles to provide this and the approaches make the petitioner feel distressed and triggered.

The respondent regularly goes out with their friends 2-3 times a week without fail. This leaves the petitioner feeling lonely and isolated and left having to manage their small child, which at times can be overwhelming and stressful.

The vast majority of the childcare is provided by the petitioner who receives little support from the respondent and only when asked or directed. The respondent then complains and blames the petitioner for the relationship they each have with the child. The petitioner finds this to be unfair, tiring, and stressful.

The respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent.

  • MarcusFox
  • MarcusFox's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
14 Nov 20 #514755 by MarcusFox
Reply from MarcusFox
I've been divorced twice, I divorced my first wife for unreasonable behaviour, the second divorced me for unreasonable behaviour. What you have written is pretty much the same format as was used in both cases. It looks good to me. In both cases we had agreed to divorce and both agreed on using unreasonable behaviour as grounds. Is this the case with you?

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11