Married 9 years this year separated for one. 2 children, My ex bought family home with a settlement from an injury (injury occured whilst we were together). He left the family home leaving me to pay all the mortgage and house bills and clear the arrears that he had incurred. He does pay a small amount for the boys but since he has new girlfiends does not really see them that much even though lives in same town. He had another accident 3 years ago to which he should be getting a settlement of 50/60k and was informed yesterday i wont get a penny plus he wants 40k for him to have his name taken off the mortgage and deeds. As you can appreciate i have been a bag of nerves since as i cant come up with that sort of money as am struggling to pay mortgage on my part time wage as it is. I did say when we initally broke up that i wanted this as amicable as possible because of the boys, however he has only had them for 8 whole weekends since july last year and the odd sat night. To me that is not shared- i have started a relationship with someone, however he does not stay over and does not contribute in anyway as frankly i am really not ready to be done over again.
Any Advice would be very welcome, as to be honest i dont know what to believe anymore.
Hi Lissa and welcome to wiki. I hope you find as much support here as I have, and if you need some immediate support, please come to the chatroom!
As for your fears (and once again I'm wondering if we all end up marrying the same man), if you haven't already, please find a solicitor. If you have s/he should be able to advise you. It sounds like you need to apply for an ancillary relief hearing to get maintenance sorted out in the interim. A "small ammount" is probably not enough, especially if you are holding fort with the house and debts/bills too. Just try and remember that he really can't dictate how you spend your money (whether you have it or not!) so saying he wants 40K for the house is just air blowing in the wind.
I can understand your reluctance to get headlong into another relationship. Well done for getting this far on your own!