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Ex has turned down mediation

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17 Apr 09 #108282 by Nick 82
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I had an appointment for mediation which has now been cancelled as my ex wife went along alone and has now turned it down.

*Will this go against me as i feel she has had her say, but i didn't get to have mine???.

* Will this effect my application for legal aid? as my solicitor told me i had to do mediation to be able to apply for legal aid, i'm out of work at the moment and can't afford the legal costs, already my solicitors fees are up to £3,000

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18 Apr 09 #108553 by Elle
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Nick,

Why didnt you go? what stopped you from attending?

Elle x

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18 Apr 09 #108555 by Shezi
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Nick 82 wrote:

...i feel she has had her say, but i didn't get to have mine???.


That's not really the purpose of mediation - you don't go along separately to "have your say" - it's about making proposals, countering / negotiating and seeking agreement.

Unwillingness and unco-operation are 2 major obstacles to any form of mediation.

* Will this effect my application for legal aid? as my solicitor told me i had to do mediation to be able to apply for legal aid, i'm out of work at the moment and can't afford the legal costs, already my solicitors fees are up to £3,000


Can I ask a question, just so that we can get a feel for where you're coming from? Did you agree to mediation, primarily, because it forms part of your legal aid application? If so, are you sincerely willing to give it a go? If all you want to do is check a box, I'm afraid I would understand your wife's position.

Shezi

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18 Apr 09 #108573 by Nick 82
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Hi,

Thanks for your replies the story is that my Ex at first refused mediation, but after a few days agreed to it but to go separatly, i agreed to mediation straight away and have never turned it down, i had an appointment for myself to go along this monday, my ex wife must have had her appointment this Friday because mediation rang to say that my ex wife does not want to go through with it. therefore they have cancelled my appointment.

Nick

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18 Apr 09 #108576 by Elle
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Hi Nick,

I am confused....the mediators dont appear to be helping here or am I missing something?

Elle x

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18 Apr 09 #108585 by Nick 82
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exactly i'm confused, ex wife and i had separate appointment(it's our first appointment), she went along to her appointment and at the end of it decided it's not what she wants and is refusing to go to anymore, therefore they rang me and told me my appointment has been cancelled as the mediation has broken down and i need to go back to my solicitor, i didn't even get my foot in the mediation door.

Not really a lot i can do now on the mediation side of things, i just can't afford any of the fees as i'm out of work.

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18 Apr 09 #108594 by Elle
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Nick,

Ask the mediators to put this in writing. It doesnt appear to be your fault that you have not had mediation assistance, however this may be used against you...sorry but I am a bit of a cynic regards what people become capable of during divorce!

Elle x

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