Beginning to panic and have the thought of impending doom...
Just about to start mediation with my stbx this week and I'm not looking forward to it.
Its all about financial division of assets and the likes and I have nothing to loose so to speak as I'm penniless. I just don't want this to have a knock on effect of the poor relationship I already have with my stbx.
Anyone been through mediation been in a similar position and have any ideas on what to expect ?
have had three mediation appointments, it was very daunting at first, both myself and s2bx are finacially incompetant, which was one of the reasons, why the marraige failed in the first place.
Its going alright so far, and is a good venue for us to meet up in neutral ground. I am in a very vunerable stage of the affair, (pardon the pun) of negoiating settlement. The mediator can not actually give any advice, which is fustrating. I am at the stage where I feel like just accepting whatever, just to have closure. Friends have advised I will live long to regret this.
Its horrible to have to try to pull yourself together, and be business minded, when it takes all your strength to get out of bed and face the world each day.
I had my first appointment on Friday and feel pretty agrieved tbh.
The appointment cost £115 + VAT for the hour, which both myself and my STBX have to pay each.
The mediator gave us both five minutes each of their time to discuss anything we needed to. During my time they went through the calculations to see if I was entitled to legal aide or not, not being the case.
Then mediator had us both in the room together, to let us know the in's and outs of mediation, what the mediator does and doesn't do, to tell us how many mediation appointments we'll need, make an appointment for the next session and then wrapped it up for the day.
So I'm no further forward to be fair.
My STBX is pushing for the process to be 'done and dusted' ASAP. He however has much more disposable income than I do (I had to sell my wedding ring just to meet this appointment).
I feel the mediator told us no more information where a letter or an email wouldn't have sufficed.
Generally speaking we're both intelligent adults and there were no suprises to what they had to say.
So now I'm feeling pretty down about suggesting it in the first place.
There should be a service on how to balance the books during divorce, like who to pay and when to apply for certain things in order to meet the bill payments on time.