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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Just about to start mediation...

  • GothGirl
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31 May 09 #120262 by GothGirl
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Beginning to panic and have the thought of impending doom...

Just about to start mediation with my stbx this week and I'm not looking forward to it.

Its all about financial division of assets and the likes and I have nothing to loose so to speak as I'm penniless. I just don't want this to have a knock on effect of the poor relationship I already have with my stbx.

Anyone been through mediation been in a similar position and have any ideas on what to expect ?

  • jakeblues68
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03 Jun 09 #121171 by jakeblues68
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Before mediation my STBX and I could not be in the same room as each other, could not speak to each other nor agree to anything.

It has been a struggle at times while attending the meetings but I am really glad we did. We are so much further on and are so close to completion.

Needless to say we have both saved a fortune in solicitors fees.

Defo give it a go, nothing to lose, everything to gain :-)

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03 Jun 09 #121196 by GothGirl
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Oh cool, I was dreading it as our relationship seems to have broken down with no way forward.

I just want financial matters out in the open and sorted once and for all.

We no longer speak on the phone only by email and text and avoid each other in person.

Its a real shame it has come to this, but hey ho.

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07 Jun 09 #122227 by fay black
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Hello,
I
have had three mediation appointments, it was very daunting at first, both myself and s2bx are finacially incompetant, which was one of the reasons, why the marraige failed in the first place.
Its going alright so far, and is a good venue for us to meet up in neutral ground. I am in a very vunerable stage of the affair, (pardon the pun) of negoiating settlement. The mediator can not actually give any advice, which is fustrating. I am at the stage where I feel like just accepting whatever, just to have closure. Friends have advised I will live long to regret this.
Its horrible to have to try to pull yourself together, and be business minded, when it takes all your strength to get out of bed and face the world each day.

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07 Jun 09 #122248 by GothGirl
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Hi thanks for your input.

I had my first appointment on Friday and feel pretty agrieved tbh.

The appointment cost £115 + VAT for the hour, which both myself and my STBX have to pay each.

The mediator gave us both five minutes each of their time to discuss anything we needed to. During my time they went through the calculations to see if I was entitled to legal aide or not, not being the case.

Then mediator had us both in the room together, to let us know the in's and outs of mediation, what the mediator does and doesn't do, to tell us how many mediation appointments we'll need, make an appointment for the next session and then wrapped it up for the day.

So I'm no further forward to be fair.

My STBX is pushing for the process to be 'done and dusted' ASAP. He however has much more disposable income than I do (I had to sell my wedding ring just to meet this appointment).

I feel the mediator told us no more information where a letter or an email wouldn't have sufficed.

Generally speaking we're both intelligent adults and there were no suprises to what they had to say.

So now I'm feeling pretty down about suggesting it in the first place.

There should be a service on how to balance the books during divorce, like who to pay and when to apply for certain things in order to meet the bill payments on time.

Now thats a serveice I'd happily sign up to.

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22 Jun 09 #125584 by GothGirl
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Beginning to feel its all a hopeless waste of time and money. I simply can't meet the payments being thrusted in my direction right now.

Solicitors fees and now mediation, I just can't do it and I'm not entitled to legal aide. Where am I going wrong???

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22 Jun 09 #125585 by abi
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Hi there,
If you're talking to each other at all can't you kick the solicitors in to touch and just pay £149 and go for the Consent Order? That's what we're hoping to be able to do after the Nisi.

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