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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Just about to start mediation...

  • vivi36
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22 Jun 09 #125592 by vivi36
Reply from vivi36
hippy mamma

Hello, in my mediation we were invited separeatly to discuss our issues and to see if they could work with us which was free of charge. Then we had our appointments together. He is a high earner so he paid £115 (full) and I am a low earner so I paid £60. I appreiciate that diferent authorities work in different ways but it may be worth checking that you were treated right.


  • GothGirl
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22 Jun 09 #125619 by GothGirl
Reply from GothGirl
He won't communicate with me by any means, email, texts, phone calls or in person.

  • painful
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09 Jul 09 #129819 by painful
Reply from painful
mediation is our next port of call - like so many others, our relationship has broken down, and we only communicate by brief emails.
But how do you choose a mediator? Should I go with the one suggested by my solicitor, which will probably be expensive? Should I try to convince my ex that we are sensible adults and we can come to an agreement without paying someone to help us?
To be honest, I've been put off by some of the things I've read on here.

  • GothGirl
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09 Jul 09 #129830 by GothGirl
Reply from GothGirl
Hi Painful, please don't be put off by my experience.

mediation is possibly one of the most positive things to come out of my divorce so far.

Mind you its taken the solicitors bills and now mediation bills to roll in to actually get my STBX talking to me freely once more.

He took the hardball route and wouldn't talk to me at all by any means of communication, only through his solicitor. Now he's being hit with all the bills above (me also) for him to take a step back and think a little about how its effecting us both financially, that he's finally seen the light and talks to me when neccesary.

I went with the mediator my solicitor recommended, it doesn't come cheap, but when your financial future is at stake I feel there really is no other option than to get the best you can afford.

The outcome hasn't been what I expected and I'm going to be worse off financially, however I sure like many others before me, I'll cope somehow.

I'm getting through everything that has been thrown at me day by day and I'm finally seeing an end to it all. Even thou its a very long way off in the distance. There is light at the end of this very dark tunnel.

The way I've coped financially has been horredous, selling personal possesions and furniture. I instructed my solicitor to do nothing whilst mediation was taking place so I didn't have to live in fear of their latest bill arriving.

I'm now in the process of a mini bankrupcy or debt relief order to get me out of my current financial situation. I had no savings to back me up, through this process.

I always considered a fresh start, I just didn't expect it to be from scratch.

Buget effectively, be honest with your ex about what you can and cannot afford. Also be realistic.


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