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Mediation flaws

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28 Feb 08 #15305 by Elizabeth
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Hello Blah,

I have very recently gone through the divorce process - I thought about mediation to start with as I was told it would be cheaper - After being quoted 90 per hour (cheaper than your figure I have to say) I felt that it might be cheaper than a solicitor but if things weren't resolved and I rightly had doubt they would be I would have spent money on mediation and then have to seek legal advice anyway.

I agree with your comments wholeheartedly - I may be wrong but I got the impression a mediator does not get involved and I guess they can't but would they end up like a counsellor just sitting there listening?

Attilathehun's comments have value undoubtedly - there surely has to be a framework otherwise it's all too ambiguous and can fall down like a pack of cards.

I did a lot of my own letter writing to the other sides solicitor and wrote my own statements/filled out my own form E etc etc. I still had a hefty legal bill but it was half of what it would have been. I did not feel I had any legal advice from my solicitor which was any use in the courtroom it was all charges for admin.

The Barrister representing me did a good job - I admire them, not the solicitors.

mediation seems a good route if both parties co-operate and can be trusted to be honest and fair - rare in divorce!

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28 Feb 08 #15321 by andy100
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First divorce. Had our first mediation session 2 weeks ago. I personally found it VERY one sided.
STBX & myself are still talking. My view was that both parties need to complete their form E, disclose this to solicitors & gain sols advice on likely split of assets/debts BEFORE mediation. I went in to mediation with no idea of my entitlement. Because STBX had an idea of what she wanted then the mediator set this out as the settlement offer with no guidance to either of us as to what was fair. This cost £200 plus VAT for 1.5 hours. My plan is now to ensur ewe both disclose our form E's & seek advise befor ethe next session.

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29 Feb 08 #15377 by Elizabeth
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Andy100,

I can't see how mediation is meant to be cheaper! it costs £200 + VAT for a solicitor - if you and your STBX are still talking that's good - if there are children involved it's always more complicated. Do you have a clear idea of what you want? The form E is just a good way of either side seeing that full and frank disclosure is made. Having said that, my ex sold all the shares he had in his name and even when it went to a final hearing there was nothing done about it! He didn't even produce the supporting documentation for the shares. Avoid court route if at all possible and solicitors if you can. Internet is a great help - the matrimonial causes act 1973 gives you a good indication of what the court would look at.

  • sexysadie
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29 Feb 08 #15420 by sexysadie
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mediation isn't cheaper per hour than solicitors but it can work out cheaper in the long run because it doesn't involve going to court. Once you have the solicitor preparing endless court documents and then a barrister for a day it becomes extremely expensive.

mediation can also help you achieve an outcome that you both feel is more or less fair, which courts often don't.

I agree with Fiona, though, that Collaborative Law is probably best if you can manage it.

Sadie

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03 Mar 08 #15585 by Blah
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sexysadie wrote:

mediation isn't cheaper per hour than solicitors but it can work out cheaper in the long run because it doesn't involve going to court. Once you have the solicitor preparing endless court documents and then a barrister for a day it becomes extremely expensive.

mediation can also help you achieve an outcome that you both feel is more or less fair, which courts often don't.

I agree with Fiona, though, that Collaborative Law is probably best if you can manage it.

Sadie


I can understand a solicitor might want to keep up there extravagant fee's which is one of my point's really, they are not providing the same service.

If all this was fair and above board and in a competative nature you would be given a option of which mediator you wanted to use i.e. the moor succesful the more expensive.
A list of mediators and thier hourly rates would have been nice to see.


There was no choice given in my case. Competition is no bad thing but it dosn't seem to happen in the world of solicitors.

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06 Mar 08 #15956 by Blah
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So no one with some real experience of this is going to post. I don't mean client's but some one who has been through this procedure a number of times i.e. a mediator

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05 Apr 08 #18736 by Robert1977
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Blah. The report you gave the link to was very interesting and helped me immensely. Just to read people's experiences and opinions of solicitors / mediation etc was great. I felt a little more validated and less alone with my thoughts.

I somehow feel the courts will penalise me for not wishing to go through with mediation. As if I was obstructive or unwilling to work at a settlement. This is far from the truth.
My reasons for deciding against it were twofold. Firstly, we tried to exchange the income and expenditure forms. I gave my stbx mine completely filled out. In return she gave me a page torn out of a schoolbook with a list of 10 expenses. Not in anyway good for advancing negotiations or beginning mediation. Also, whenever I asked her what she wanted or for any ideas what she wanted to do the reply was always the same...Im going to seek advice from my solicitor. This was a continued response despite having Decree Nisi and her having a solicitor for at least a year. She was uncomprimising and gave the impression she wanted everything available to her rather than reaching a mutual agreement where we could all genuinely move forward.

I decided against the mediation and I still believe she orchestrated this decision in order to say look it was him who pulled out.

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