A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Mediation has failed - what can I expect now?

  • whenwilliteverend
  • whenwilliteverend's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
05 Oct 09 #151976 by whenwilliteverend
Topic started by whenwilliteverend
Hi all, This is my first posting. I just want to move on after six years how much longer could this be drawn out before I start investing in my future?? I have been seperated for 6 years after 20 years of marriage, we have 3 children all of which have left the FMH. To say that my ex has been less than cooperative is an understatement. I have recently obtained a Decree Nisi after 3 attempts and attended 3 mediation sessions to try and agree a Clean Break. My ex wife treated the whole process with contempt and as such this process failed. I provided all information requested and made a 50:50 offer of my investments, overseas property and FMH. She has never payed anything towards the mortgage and lives in the FMH. I am divorcing her on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and will apply for my Absolute this week. What is the worst case scenario before I can stop her benefiting from my efforts or future investments? I just need to see the light at the end of the tunnel!:(

  • Ephelia
  • Ephelia's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
05 Oct 09 #151979 by Ephelia
Reply from Ephelia
Have you applied for ancillary relief? If not do so immediately, then a court will require her to provide the necessary information and will set in place a timetable to get things done by... if you have an unco-operative ex this is the only way... hopefully when she sees how much money this route will cost she'll start being more co-operative...

  • Bobbinalong
  • Bobbinalong's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
05 Oct 09 #151980 by Bobbinalong
Reply from Bobbinalong
unfortunately mediation only works if both people go with the same goal. Sometimes one has a preplannned itinery of what they intend to get ou tof it, maybe your ex didnt but she didnt want to come to an agreement anyhow. I makes me wonder why some people want to continue to live under this veil of despare and just get on with their lives, even though your kids are grown up, it wont make the future any easier and the bitterness will last for years, my parents split 25 years ago, I am afraid it still continues now, and now its my turn.

As the previous post, you have to find out what your options are sometimes it is worth some expenditure to bring things to a closure and it maybe the harsh route but it has to be done. She is bviously rubbing her hands maybe in comfort in the knowledge that she is going to be difficult to shift, so get a bigger wedge and shift her.

  • whenwilliteverend
  • whenwilliteverend's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
12 Oct 09 #153744 by whenwilliteverend
Reply from whenwilliteverend
Thanks for the advice, I will speak to my solicitor and get things going. It's good to know you are not alone. Your words of wisdom give me some hope :)

  • Ephelia
  • Ephelia's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
12 Oct 09 #153759 by Ephelia
Reply from Ephelia
You're definitely not alone and my partner and I know well the worry and stress caused by an ex who won't be reasonable or deal with the issues but insists on dragging things out to a ridiculous degree.

The result in my partner's case is that his ex has lost a lot of money, as the value of the house dropped by over £150,000 in the time she's dragged this out and as she was always being offered by far the largest percentage of this she has lost the most...

Hopefully your ex will see sense soon - best wishes.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11