I have had 2 mediation sessions 1 by myself and the other with the STBX. My STBX is in the Army and has served 32 years. He is now in receipt of his pension. We are waiting on his CETV. We have been married for 24 years and have one child who is away at Uni. I still live in the FMH and he is renting a property. My concerns are buying a smaller house for myself (150,000) outright and his is keeping all of his pension (which is around the £400,000 mark) the mediator is suggesting he pays me off in cash around 160,000 and that i don't touch his pension(she says as he will be taxed on this which will reduce it to 300,000 and it has to be tangible. Am I being unrealistic in hopeing for more income ? Not sure if I feel comfortable with what is being suggested. Can you advise please.
If you look in the Ancillary Relief section there is summary here: www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html
of what you need to set out to get this sort of advice. You might get more replies if you post in the AR section anyway, as its really a question of what settlement you ought to get.
A lot depends on what else there is other than his pension.
I'm a bit concerned about your mediator's knowledge of pensions: what has actually been discussed? I'm not sure what the relevance of tax is: its a bit of an odd comment... It doesn't affect the valuation of the pension as such.
And do you realise that his Army CETV is likely to significantly understate what it is really worth?
He's presumably close to coming out of the Army if he has been in 32 years in which case there are other issues, like him being close to getting his terminal gratuity, and the question of what he will do with his pension income and if he is looking at a new career etc, etc...
Have you had any legal advice? Think you should try to get some.
How is he going to raise £160K anyway?
Sorry for the inquisition, but if you want answers, its necessary for anyone helping you to be able to understand the big picture, its not a case of dealing with pensions or maintenance or anything else in isolation, its all part of the whole settlement.
My STBX has left the Army and is in receipt of £22,000 per year pension now although he is still working for the Army in a civilian role for the next 4 years. He has also received his lump sum and has £50,000 left which my Solicitor has issued a document that he has signed to say he will not spend any more of it. That and whats in the FMH will hopefully make the £160,000. Basically he wants to keep all of his pension himself. We have not other funds. I have a small final salary pension which I have been paying into for the past 7 years. I have my own Solicitor who has not really given me any firm advice except your need to get the money for a house and if possible a safety net of money.