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mediation

  • doubledutch
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26 Feb 10 #188444 by doubledutch
Topic started by doubledutch
I am hoping to use mediation to sort out our finances, but suspect my husband is hiding money in switzerland. My questions are, is it possible to hide money in switzerland? And how could we find out? And also, now my husband is dragging his heels and is taking his time to pick a mediator - what can i do? I suspect mediation is going to fail as i think he is being dishonest but could i go down the traditional route and jsut start the process. I am fed up waiting.

  • londiniumex
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26 Feb 10 #188492 by londiniumex
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Three questions: why, when and how?

Why do you think he is hiding money in Switzerland?
When do you think he hid it?
How is he responding to your accusations?

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26 Feb 10 #188517 by doubledutch
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I'll try and be brief!!! He controls all the money in our marriage, he earnt the majority of it, and basically looks after that side of things. A couple of months ago, before our relationship broke down, i asked him how much money we had left (after a house move) and he said about £150K. (2 years ago he sold his company so came into quite a bit of money).

About a month ago we started trying to discuss the financial split and his impending tax bill, and he said he only had about 20 k left, and he wasn't sure how he was going to manage. We certainly wouldn't have spent £130K in the space of a few months, so I figured he was lying. He denies telling me that we had £150k left. I later found out that soon after we decided to split he made a couple of trips out to switzerland. he has no other reason that i know of to visit switzerland. I resisted so far accusing him of doing this because i know he will automatically lie, and i figured that he may try and move money again if he knows i know. I thought i would wait until we're getting involved with the solicitors so that they could advise me on how i challenge him on this. Obviously, this will show in bank transfers and stuff, but as far as the laws concerning "hiding" money off shore, i'm not sure how it works.

In part, I think that he might be avoiding mediation because he knows he will have to declare himself financially and it will show up what he's done. Or maybe he's dragging his feet to wait for funds to become available to hide again - not sure. I just don't know what he's up to. He's a shrewd businessman and i don't trust him an inch!

  • Elle
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26 Feb 10 #188523 by Elle
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dd,

Sounds as if your ex is controlling more than the financials. You say you are fed up waiting, if proceedings have not started, you could take control and start them...waiting around for an ex to make a move/decision empowerws them.

Whilst it is a prerequisite of family law that both parties make full and frank disclosure...in the real world out of court, many exes (and even some sols) ignore this! Given your concerns, you could have a clause drafted into an agreement that would allow you to revisit finances if your suspicions become reality and can be proven.

E

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26 Feb 10 #188558 by londiniumex
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doubledutch,

I think you are being sensible in trying to go through mediation. But you obviously can't do it without full disclosure (including bank statements etc.).

If you don't get disclosure, the mediator will be of no help.

Have you set a date to voluntarily exchange form E's?

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01 Mar 10 #189244 by doubledutch
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No we haven't done anything. I've been to see a solicitor, but i'm waiting for him to pick a mediator as he didn't want me to pick one!! If it doesn't happen this week, i'm going to instruct my solicitors on next step.

yes controlling - absolutely!!!

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