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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

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It has to end soon

  • j0mpst0rt
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21 Apr 10 #199744 by j0mpst0rt
Topic started by j0mpst0rt
Hi, I am a single dad of 3 children (the first one is not mine (deception of wife so i'd marry her). I have had the CAFCASS done 3 years ago and the kids reside with me permanently for the last 6 years. cafcass order was every 2nd weekend the mother can see them (but almost never comes) and is worded in such a way to be called a mutual custody order (for the passport sake).

Now that the wife has got her passport she is continuing with the divorce (we have not lived together since 2002). She wants financial settlement.

I have paid for the children to be in private school for 3 years, and they have various extra curricular activities each month costing in excess of 1k a month.

I rent where I live, and my house I purchased after leaving her is the only asset but cannot live in it because its too far away the remaining mortgage, loans and inland revenue and overdrafts are in excess of the value of the house. This house has 2 people with loans secured on it. (real loans, not pretend). I have a house sitter in it, with a legal drawn agreement. I have a foreign euro mortage on it.

I have an au-pair, and I work. I supported my wife for the 1st 2 years of her stay here in the uk so she could see the children but only saw them 4 times in the two years. since the cafcass order she sees them between once a month and once every 3 months.

I am under Special Investigation with the inland revenue because I have not paid tax on my earnings for the last 6 years. I have charges accruing on a daily basis.

my wife's lawyers will write to my previous lawyers to request mediation, otherwise, we will go to court.

I dealt with the cafcass and child legal issues without a lawyer. However, the financial part (the last part) before the divorce has me totally confounded.

The mother had not paid any maintenance money until the last few months when my 3rd application to the CSA was finally handled manually. She phones me to complain every week that she is paying too much (150gbp a month) my monthly costs for the kids is circa 5k.

I have requested costs for a lawyer to represent me, but they are 170pound +vat. which I can ill afford.

So,: Can anybody advise me on how its going to go, can i go to the mediation and just say "I've got nothing" (pending the Inland Revenue special investigation). If we don't settle at mediation and it goes to court can I request the court to stay the hearing till after the inland revenue special investigation? Is there anyone who can represent me or guide me? Or give me a guide price for the completion of this part of the divorce. Please.


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