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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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separation agreement and mediation

  • joanp
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  • Senior Member
29 Apr 10 #201295 by joanp
Topic started by joanp
I am in the process of trying to reach a Separation Agreement with my husband (my decision)-there is no-one else involved and i am trying to reach an amicable agreement. we have 2 children, one is 20 and in 2nd year at uni, the other 16 and in 1st year at college ('the girls')
Based on the financial info i gave to a solicitor she advised me that the equity in the house would probably be a 60/40 split in my favour as the girls would be living with me.
I have made umpteen offers to him, starting with a small lump sum now + a % of equity in the house payable to him once the girls are finished their education (approx 4 years). I have also offered him a 'one-off full settlement lump sum now' which is slightly less than 40%.
We are now going to try mediation...my concern is that we are both living in the same house...he insists 'there is no rush'? and thinks there is no reason why we shouldn't continue as we are! we have spent 4 months trying to reach agreement and will probably spend another 2 months with the mediation process..i think he is stalling because he says once our younger daughter reaches 18 (Aug 2011)then she is no longer a dependant - just because she will be 18 doesn't mean she stops costing money!!!
He says i just want him out...i have tried to explain that it is about us separating and if one of us can stay in the house it would be less upheaval for the girls.
I don't really know what my question is, i'm just concerned that the longer it drags on the less equity i will be entitled to? anyone out there been in a similar situation or have any suggestions?

  • dukey
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  • Moderator
  • Moderator
29 Apr 10 #201338 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello joan

Living in the same house for another two years when the marriage has ended could put increasing stress on the whole family, often once both accept the marriage is over the relationship can deteriorate if you still live together, not always the case but it is quite common.

At the moment your solicitor advises a 60-40 split in your favor this is mainly because your daughter is 16 and will live with you, once she reach's 18 this is not as cut and dried and the division could sway back to half each.

Separation are fine when you both agree is and are likely to continue to do so, however if one of you change your mind the Separation Agreement will be subject to change should the matter end in court, that said the separation agreement can be used as a template for a Consent Order which is a full and final agreement.

  • joanp
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29 Apr 10 #201346 by joanp
Reply from joanp
thanks for that..it is stressful living in the same house, especially as he is in our daughters room when she is at uni, then he sleeps on the dining room floor in a sleeping bag when she's home! she'll be home soon for the summer so i don't know what will happen then...
I would gladly move out and rent somewhere with my daughters until we get it sorted, (just to get a night's sleep) but all the bills are paid from my bank account, i don't know what i would be obliged to pay to him, if anything? how does that work? he has an option to rent a house cheaply from a friend who works away all week but he won't do it as he thinks i'd be winning in some way..believe you me i don't feel like a winner in this situation...

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