well i attended mediation last week first joint session not a pleasant experience managed to sort nothing out even after 18 months not speaking to each other the mediator advised we go back to the solicitors any one advise me what happens nxt when you cant reach financial agreement im so fed up off all of this now and have been feeling very down hence taking a couple of days before posting this
If you can't talk to each other at all you won't reach a settlement.I don't know if that's driven by one of you being hurt and so angry you can't talk or whether it's motivated by one of you just being super greedy on wanting like 100% of the marital assets.Whichever it is a mediator can only mediate,it is up to the two people divorcing to talk about the asset split and be a bit cooperative,the mediator can advise when someone is unreasonable or their expectations are unreasonable.You two were obviously both so intransigent that she has told you she cannot help you and that you had better sort it out through your solicitors.
I would advise you now to stop spending money on solicitors letters tell your solicitor to get it into court ok it's going to cost you both approx £15k each if it goes to a final hearing but at least it will get a timescale on the proceedings and sorting out the finances.
All the best
I was in a sililar situation and invited my husband to go to mediation initially but he was advised by his sol that it would be a waste of time. I didn't understand it at the time but then realised that he was intent on keeping virtually all our assets and thought it was his right! Of course, it wouldn't work so I started the divorce process and Ancillary Relief. It was the best thing I could have ever done as he dragged his heals all the way right up to the last week before final hearing. He just wouldn't listen to anyone including the sol until he went to see a barrister and that did the job. The cost was similar to Haways estimate but sometimes you just have to spend some to get what you are entitled to.
Hope this helps, sorry am in a rush to get out this morning.
many thanks to you both for your speedy replies i dont have an extra 15k so this should be an experience im never gonna forget he is intent on taking as much as he can from this so if i advise the solicitor to take this to court how does it work does the judge decide who is entitled to what share of the assets ?
i have offered 40 % cash payment of what my house is worth and half of my pension my ex has no job pays nothing to the house and minimal csa for the children i am paying all bills on former matrimonial home and keeping both children they have no overnights with there father.
he has the car his belongings tools worth 3k and we have allready halved the savings we both had i still live in the former matrimonial home with my children and have most of the furniture also
he is asking for 60 % of the properties worth in cash and half my pension hence no agreement at mediation my solicitor advised she believed i had made a fair offer however i am concerned the more this goes on the more the legal people stand to make
I know it's about applying for Ancillary Relief by submitting form a that then timetables the event to go to court.form E's have to be filled in also.It will only cost you £15k if you are represented by solicitors and barristers all the way.if you represent yourself it will only cost you a few hundred pounds for court fees.Your solicitor should be giving you better advice than this.
All the best