I'm filing as soon as I can get a day off work, probably next week. I'd like to get the financial settlement sorted asap so that I can sort my life out.
This is all hypothetical as STBX went ballistic when I showed him the draft Petition and so the chances of a quick/easy/amicable settlement may be negligible. But I really want to try because I need him out of my life. B ut assuming I can eventually get him calm enough to be reasonable, I plan to suggest mediation - do we each have to get all the stuff we'd need for a form E, like CETV, CEB? I gather this will take months. Can we just waive this and get to the nitty gritty (the house)? And if we can come to an agreement via mediation will this be sufficient to go to, say, an online Consent Order, even thugh neither of us would have taken other legal advice?
I've had my first "introduction" mediation session a few weeks ago. The process was explained to us, and we were given a workbook with a list of documents to bring to the 1st "proper" mediation session (which is next week ). This includes things like CETV, house valuation, bank statements, payslips, endowment cash in values etc. Pretty much everything to do with the finances in the marriage. The idea is we'll sit down with the mediatior at the next session and try to come up with a fair arrangement that we're both happy with. Although I think 'happy' might be a bit optimistic!!
I don't think you can really pick and choose which bits you want to include - the idea is to get it all sorted out now so you can go your seperate ways with a fair share of the pot - not to revisit it in a few years time and decide to start looking at the other bits and pieces.
If you can reach an agreement, your mediator will produce a Memorandum of Understanding. This isn't a legally binding document, but is something that you can take to a solictor (or online sevice) and get it written up as a Consent Order which you would then be bound to. I think it's recommended that you get your own solicitor to look it over for you to make sure you're not being ripped off. I haven't actually got a solicitor, but i guess i will take the Memorandum of Understanding to one to have a look at, even if my wife does the same, just to make sure they think it's fair.
A bit of a waffly answer, but hopefully it's given you a bit of an idea. Hopefully someone with more expertise than me will let you know if i've given you completely duff info
I'm just going through the process of petitioning now as well. I've had a year of doing nothing since we seperated, but it's all about to kick off now. I can't wait .
Good luck with your Petition, and also your mediation if you go down that route. Think it's going to be hard work for both of us!
Thanks. The thing is that now I know the mariage is dead I want to bury it. The CETV/CEB are going to take three months (and that's assuming he gets his finger out and asks for his CEB promptly, which I doubt). I just want him out of my life and he won't go - he still doesn't believe I'm actually going to divorce him.
The CETV/CEB are only really applicable when the marriage is long, pensions contributions are very different during the lifetime of the marriage or Spousal Maintenance is likely to be an issue. If you have a short marriage, no kids etc. or you simply have a good confident idea about the pensions standings, then you can make agreement at any time.
We've been married a very, very long time. But I am reasonably certain that our pensions are worth roughly the same; if anything his might be a bit higher than mine as mine is currently predicted to pay out slightly les per month than his (he's already drawing his, I'm not).
Apart from pensions and the house there are some smallish insurances.
Women's pensions often pay less (based upon a fixed "buy-in" value than men's as women are expected to live longer. However, if you're both about to draw pensions, then they should be counted as income rather than an asset.