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What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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Mediation starts tomorrow

  • landoffairies
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21 Oct 10 #230579 by landoffairies
Topic started by landoffairies
My first mediation appt starts tomorrow. It's relating to child proceedings but it is heavily based on finances too. Thing is I am really scared. xtb is adamant he will not give an inch whilst leaving all marital debt and massive losses in my name. I have made enquiries and the mediator is not an solicitor/ex and my xtb is very opinionated and will not budge an inch based on his opinions being right-always. Things are really bad financially, and the emotional cost has and remains huge. I have made it perfectly clear that I want our son knowing his daddy and that his daddy should be in his life as he grows up. And I have stated that I will do whatever it takes to ensure that daddy is a major part of sons life. I just somehow feel I have written my own life off and he will ride roughshod over me to achieve this. I'm struggling how to be mentally strong enough so as not to be the doormat and just do something and ex doesnt have to change one iota of his lifestyle.
Any advice please?

  • Milli
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21 Oct 10 #230600 by Milli
Reply from Milli
Hi there

Cannot really offer any practical advise but just wanted to wish you luck. Know what you mean about them maintaining their lifestyles whilst we are left with no life, struggling financially and emotionally!

I am sure you will find the strength you need to get through this and that he won't get things all his own way, remember you matter too.

Thinking of you


  • landoffairies
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21 Oct 10 #230607 by landoffairies
Reply from landoffairies
Thank you Milli so very much for answering my post. And you summed it up really....I matter too. Bizarre, because in all of this I really have forgotten about myself. And I'm a mess.
Thanks for replying. xx

  • paulm620
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22 Oct 10 #230613 by paulm620
Reply from paulm620
Stay strong today and keep focused, you can do it, think of little O as you will be doing it for him.
If your ex is doing his stuff, explain to mediator what you want and come out, dont be railroaded into doing what he wants
Good luck we are all with you, all the way

  • Lostboy67
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22 Oct 10 #230629 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
Try to have an idea of what you want and also what you are prepared to accept, make sure that you give yourself a little headroom for negotiation.
If worst comes to the worst be prepared to get up and walk out.


  • MrsH2013
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22 Oct 10 #230637 by MrsH2013
Reply from MrsH2013
Wishing you all the very best for today, stay strong.


Kitty xxx

  • Ali7
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22 Oct 10 #230668 by Ali7
Reply from Ali7
Hello lof,
Good luck with all this, my thoughts are with you.
Take care
Al xxx

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