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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Mediation - first steps

  • Billie12
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01 Jul 08 #30103 by Billie12
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thanks a lot! it really helps to have input from someone who knows.
I would like to go down this route but am worried that husband will talk me down as I am still vulnerable etc!
so is that not what happens?

I have had a look on that site that you gave link and its really interesting, although still seems like facing a firing squad!

i will google and see what i find.
thanks for your kind help in my time of need
Carrie

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01 Jul 08 #30105 by D_S
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Not a problem.

It was explained to me that a positive is that you have a third party discussing your otions from a neutral standpoint.

They will be able to look subjectively at your case and give advice on what has been offered, and you can then counter offer back through them, no direct discussion.

The idea is negotiation, they reckon 3-4 sessions on average, they will be able to give advice on what is fair based on what is disclosed by both parties.

  • Kalamari
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11 Jul 08 #32297 by Kalamari
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Carrie

My experience of mediation has been positive. Although my stbx has tried to be as domineering as usual, the presence of a 3rd party has given a different dynamic - and has really helped create some space for me to input to the discussions. Only three meetings so far, but they are progressively becoming more productive because of the mediator's influence. And at the same time my emotional stress has been lowered.

The key advantage of mediation is the possibility to negotiate real-time - which is efficient, and retain the possibility for the two of you to construct the best possible settlement. (Although that does mean both accepting equal reduction in living standard)

I'll be amazed if we reach an agreement in only 4 sessions as referenced above - but I guess there is a big range.

Good luck:unsure: B)

Kalamari

PS - If Carrie is your real name - consider adopting an alias - it is awkward if stbx's see your posts:woohoo:

  • Jollyrocket
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11 Jul 08 #32318 by Jollyrocket
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Hi
I have my 3rd mediation on Tues. It has been ok tho ex intimidating!! Told mediator and she tempered him lots last time. the one thing she did say was that if we both have opposing views about things and are not willing to budge then their is not much point. Think we will be ok re money but contact is proving more tricky. the other solution is collaberation - (again not sure if the same in England) but it is where you sit with your solicitor and he sits with his and they sort out what you want with you both present.
good luck

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11 Jul 08 #32319 by Jollyrocket
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PS - I went with the legal mediation route as I wanted some legal structure to the thing and where he could not manipulate things, however it is "agreed" so they do not make comment!!!

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