I am 14 months in to a 2 year seperation (to divorce in Apr 12). Stbx has been surrendering policies and talking about endowment being 10K short (not according to the company)it is in both our names. My solicitor wants us to go to mediation to reach an early settlement (£180). This will also enable us to look at all the bank accounts to see what's been moved. I'm really panicing now cos stbx is very controlling and is going to blow his stack. Does he have to pay £180 aswell? Will I get help putting a settlement package together? Am I expected to know about pensions and make suggestions of how things can be divided such as shares in FH equity, maintainance (child and spousal)? Aagh where do I start?
The reason you use a mediator is so they explain it all to you or as much as you need to know anyway, it is the best option by far, court is very expensive.
Usually the cost of mediation is shared but you would need to check with your solicitor, £180 sounds about right for an hour so it will probably be £90 each.
The mediator with gather all the needed information and help you both find a workable solution, if it works you both save a small fortune and loads of time, even if it fails you would both walk away with a much better idea of what you should be aiming for.